Abigail Saunders
Stories (2/0)
Don't Let Them Eat Cake?
Tina Fey says that the most important rule of beauty is this, "Who cares?" And thank God for wisdom like that, because when it comes to baking, "Who cares?" really captures the aesthetic I'm (not so purposefully) going for. My work is not elegant, or beautiful, or even consistently tasty, it's more the product of a woman who gets into the kitchen and wings it while drinking wine and blowing off steam. Not everyone loves what comes out of my oven, mostly because it’s either burned or according to my daughter, tastes like “sweet dirt” (whatever princess), but that's what's great about being an amateur baker like me. You pretend to be learning, until you can go fake pro. And even though I believe I’m ready now, people tell me I still need to work out some of the kinks. It's hard to understand the logic entirely, as I’m pretty sure that Duff guy bakes a salty cake every now and again, but fine, I’ll be patient. Taking the time to solve why my biscotti taste metallic, isn't the worst idea ever.
By Abigail Saunders3 years ago in Feast
I'm a Winner
I could hear Lisa from three aisles over. She has the loudest voice I've ever heard. Not because she yells, because of how her throat shoots sound out of her mouth - like a hurricane. She was asking the butcher about the price of some meat. Normally, you wouldn't think twice about overhearing this, but these days Lisa's meat conversations were different. She wasn't discussing the price of regular meat, she was discussing the price of human meat. Human meat, which has been legal for about five months now. And although heavily legislated, like you had to die of natural causes before your meat could be eaten, it was still 100%legal and you could buy it anywhere. I slowly made my way over to Lisa as she was finishing up the interrogation. She picked out three cellophane packages from her cart and presented them to me. "Samoan," she said. "It's supposed to be very soft and sumptuous." I cringed. I couldn't talk about this like she could. She went on about how Samoan meat was different in texture, could take on marinades and how well it would fit into her Super bowl menu. I nodded, but knew when that day came, I wouldn't be eating much. I've tried human meat, on more than one occasion and while I can't say that it's bad, I'm nowhere near the recipe trading stage yet. As we get to the cash, Lisa goes over her menu to me again and is suddenly concerned that the meat was on sale because Samoan meat is actually lower quality meat and not as good as she had heard. She gets a suspicious look on her face and asks me way too loudly, where Samoa is. I have no idea where Samoa is and turn my head up to the sky to think. As I do, my eye catches the cashier. She's looking at Lisa who is now poking the meat and making faces. My guess is that she's offended by Lisa's blatant disrespect for the human that provided this meat. My other guess is that she's Samoan.
By Abigail Saunders3 years ago in Futurism