THE ART OF SAYING NO IS PLEASANT TO EVERYONE

THE ART OF SAYING NO IS PLEASANT TO EVERYONE

In life, it is very normal for you to refuse someone else's offer. However, many people do not dare to refuse because they are too "respectful" for fear of offending and then helping others in an uncomfortable state of not doing their best or not having enough time to do their own work. Some people are not tactful and refuse, causing offence, and the relationship then deteriorates.

So how to refuse tactfully without leaving scars while still making the other person feel happy and comfortable?

3 PRINCIPLES YOU MUST REMEMBER

1. Rejection does not mean you are a bad person

Always agreeing, always saying yes, is not necessarily good. That is called the three right, or the wind follows which direction it goes. Remember that saying no does not mean you are a bad person (or that they will think you are a bad person), but that you are a person with opinions and a plan.

2. Rejection is your prerogative

It is difficult for us to refuse because we are afraid of making the other person sad or heartbroken. This is probably the most common reason people often have. We ourselves still ask ourselves questions: we don't know if the person will be hurt, if they will be heartbroken, we don't know if they still like us or not, we don't know if we can keep the relationship or not. Are not,…. Therefore, we are often very afraid of making others sad, so instead of refusing, we accept.

3. Refusing gracefully is a skill

Like any skill, if you find it difficult to do, it simply hasn't become a reflex yet, and you need to spend more time learning and practicing. At work, we don't dare to refuse because we are afraid of missing out on opportunities that come our way. However, if you are overwhelmed with your unfinished work, accepting an offer from someone else will definitely affect both of you.

7 THINGS YOU DEFINITELY DISAGREE

1 I definitely say no when it violates the law, or there are signs that make me suspicious.

2 I explicitly say no when it goes against my goals or priorities at the time.

3 I definitely say no when it can cause harm to other people or other living creatures.

4 I definitely refuse when I know for sure that I cannot wholeheartedly participate.

5 I definitely say no to people who have broken promises or shown signs of taking advantage of me.

6 I definitely refuse people who constantly ask me for things that are not my responsibility.

7 I definitely say no to things that do not benefit the group and others.

If someone violates your rules, say no and don't worry. Because if they have violated your principles, it means they do not respect you, and do not deserve your approval. Rest assured, usually when people like that can't rely on you, sooner or later they will find someone else.

WHAT DOES IT TAKE TO REJECT TACTLY?

1. Don't accept false offers, don't refuse quickly

When I was still working, there was a tip that "saved" me many times. Every time someone asks me if I'm free to do something, I always answer, "This is important, let me check my schedule." (Then pull out your Smartphone to look at the calendar). Although this habit is small but powerful, it brings many benefits to you:

- It is a signal to the other person that you are a person who works with a plan, and is not always free to carry a war chest.

- It gives you a pause, an opportunity to look back to see if it is a priority or not, to make a more informed decision.

- After looking at the calendar, if you reply that you will arrange to help them, your "time" spent with them will be "more valuable" than if you accepted from the beginning.

This habit can be applied to any situation, including someone confessing their love to you. Of course at that time, you can't pull out your Smartphone and say, "This is important, let me see the list of people who have confessed to me" but you can simply say, "This is important." , please give me time to think.”

The sentence "This is important" is very important, it shows your listening attitude (who doesn't like others to think their work is important, ha ha), so they will easily give you their time. think more. If they continuously "attack" you, demanding you make a decision immediately, you can use the following two powerful keywords.

Those are “principles” and “respect”. You can say "My principles are etc... I hope you will respect..." For example, "My principle is that if I participate in something, I will do my best, so I hope you will respect it and give me time to think." to make decisions.” By doing so, they will feel your seriousness and power.

And after you mention "principles" and ask for "respect", they still attack, even rudely demand. Then they are people with no manners, and should be immediately out of your life

2. Always refuse to include gifts

Who doesn't like gifts? In case you finish looking at the calendar, think about it and you want to refuse. Then it's time to apply tactful refusal, or the art of saying no without causing pain. First, share your feelings with them, this medicine is very important, like a sedative.

For example, “Thank you for trusting me. I understand this is very important to you, and I also want to help. However, etc. (give your good reason)”. The most legitimate reason is usually that you are stuck with a certain schedule, or you have other concerns at this time so you cannot give them your full attention.

At this time, they may be hurt, so soothe them immediately with free gifts (especially introverts, you have to pay more attention to strong emotions):

– You suggest them a solution that helps them do it themselves effectively.

– You suggest someone who can help them, even better than you.

– You promise to make arrangements for them next time, or do something else instead.

In case they insist very much and are very reluctant, you can use the last trick of helping in a small way. Let's discuss, help them analyze what they need to do in many parts, and see if you can help in a small part within your ability.

6 SMALL BUT POWERFUL REJECTION TIPS

1 Every time someone asks if you are free, say “let me check my schedule.” This habit helps you become a person with a plan and a trustworthy day.

2 Every time you step out of the house, ask yourself what is the important thing to do today. When you always have a priority in your mind, you will always evaluate whether something is a priority or not.

3 Every time someone asks for a favor, always ask them for a certain amount of time to make a decision (with a legitimate reason: wanting to devote your full attention to their work).

4 Every time someone comes to ask for help, ask clearly about the matter before deciding: How urgent is it? How important is it? What are their expectations of you? etc….

5 With every rejection, always come with a free gift of some kind: Useful information, a connection to someone else who can do better…

6 Close the rejection with a question that cares about their feelings, maintains the relationship, and positively affirms: “Are we still good friends?”