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Brushstrokes of Silence: From Chaos to Calm

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By Jennifer CruisePublished 7 months ago 3 min read

ever since I was a child, I've fought with an endlessly chattering inner voice. It's as if I have an overactive narrator commenting on every element of my life, examining and frequently overthinking the tiniest of encounters and decisions. This mental chatter has frequently left me fatigued and overwhelmed, as if my mind lived in a packed room with everyone speaking at the same time. Over the cacophony of self-criticism and second-guessing, I could scarcely hear my own thoughts.

Living with such a loud mind is like traveling through a dense fog when clarity is just out of grasp. My inner voice frequently seemed like a critic, always doubting and disputing, never resting. This continual mental cacophony made it difficult to focus on the present moment, and I began to lose out on the minor pleasures of everyday life. Even when there was silence, the talk continued, turning what should have been serene times into times of internal conflict.

It was during one especially stressful day, when the noise in my head was nearly unbearable, I stumbled upon a vintage paint by number kit in an old thrift store. I remember it was a paint by numbers dog -themed canvas. Something about the charming image and the promise of a controlled but creative work piqued my interest. I decided to give it a shot, not realizing how critical this decision would turn out to be. Something strange happened the moment I began painting: the noise in my thoughts began to calm down.

Painting by numbers became a form of meditation for me. The act of focusing on the basic task of filling in each space with the proper color gave my busy mind a much-needed rest. Each brushstroke seemed like a subtle reminder to be in the now. The task's repetitious nature, along with the slow blossoming of a beautiful image, provided a sense of success and tranquility. My mind, which is typically filled with ideas, found tranquility in the rhythm of painting.

This newfound passion, which began with a visit to a vintage thrift store, eventually grew as I began to explore subjects that actually caught my attention. I found Disney paint by number kits, which allowed me to recreate scenes from my favorite childhood films. Every individual and situation evoked a flow of pleasant, nostalgic recollections. The act of bringing these familiar and beloved settings to life not only increased my enjoyment of painting, but it also connected me to cherished portions of my childhood.

As my adventure progressed, I learned that this contemplative technique had the unique ability to take me to many worlds of emotion and memory. The simple act of selecting colors and filling in the blanks became a mindfulness practice, drawing me away from the rush and bustle of daily life. I discovered a quiet reminder to relish the present moment in each brushstroke, a little prod to let go of the problems that frequently dominated my attention.

The task's repetitious nature was like a relaxing tune, a soothing rhythm that allowed my thoughts to settle. I discovered a tremendous sense of achievement and tranquility throughout this methodical, leisurely procedure. A lovely scene gently unfolded before me with each stroke of the brush, and the journey itself became as significant as the outcome.

It's fascinating how something as simple as a hobby could become a tool for such profound internal tranquility. It's incredibly remarkable how a seemingly simple pastime can turn into a significant source of inner peace. Painting by numbers began as a means for me to quiet my busy mind, but it has evolved into a vital tool for growing mindfulness and finding peace in the present moment. It serves as a reminder that, despite life's complications, simple yet meaningful routines may offer calm and clarity to our inner lives.

PaintingFine ArtChildhood

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Jennifer Cruise

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    Jennifer CruiseWritten by Jennifer Cruise

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