A Comedian, Two Bullies, A Detective & A Pianist... 🎭

The following microfiction piece that I wrote, entitled "A Comedian, Two Bullies, A Detective & A Pianist," was inspired by uber-fabulous visual artist Annie Lee's beautiful and captivating painting titled My Cup Runneth Over.

A Comedian, Two Bullies, A Detective & A Pianist by Tiffany Gordon 

Hey y'all, it's Syreeta here. I just finished being baptized by my Holy Word, and Boyyyyy, do I feel good! I just have to close my eyes and bask in the Lord's greatness for a moment. 

Thanks to your prayers and mine, I don't have vulvar cancer like my gynecologist suspected, and my oldest child, Bronzer, and my youngest twin daughter, Maybelline, are both kicking butt and taking names. Perhaps we need to add a little holy water to the prayers that we send up for my slightly rowdy oldest twin daughter, L'Oreal, and her twin brothers, four-year-old twin terrors Revlon-James and Fenty-Cree. 

I heard through the grapevine that L'Oreal is always scrolling on TikTok and cracking jokes during class. I told her that she is there to learn, not to be Tiffany Haddish, The Second. My baby boys are all the way out of pocket as well. They have both been popping everyone who tries to use the class Play-Doh in the mouth. Apparently, my baby boys believe that they are the only ones allowed to play with the Play-Doh during playtime. If L'Oreal wants to see her cell phone and the boys want to see their extra playtime with the tire swing in the front yard ever again, they had better mind. I'm not trying to raise any Triple H's (hard-headed-hyperactive-hooligans)! They had better go sit down somewhere and magically become muted and non-violent.

L'Oreal has got to learn that there is a time for joking & goofing off and there is a time to be serious and to work. As for Fenty and Revlon, I sat them down this morning before preschool, and let them know that they can't have their way all the time. I had to remind them that no one in their class is any better or less than anyone else, so everyone should be treated the same, and therefore everyone should get a turn to play with the Play-Doh. 

Ya'll, don't tell my momma (Miss Juanita), but I blame the twins' violent behavior on her genes. My dad, Mr. Arnie, who stood 6'8", was a gentle giant, but Momma has always been a bit of a Tasmanian diva when she is extremely angry. In fact, when she was a preteen she once sliced open another girl's nose with a pocket knife when she wouldn't stop bullying her younger sister, Mae-lei.

Moving on... In an effort to motivate L'Oreal, I made her watch Nas, the famous rapper's, 'I can' music video with me. The video has always been inspiring to me and features young kids chasing their dreams. Please don't tell my hubby Brittin, but I had another reason for picking the Nas song as well. The reason being that Nas is one fine piece of chocolate and my forever celebrity crush!

In other news, my oldest son Bronzer is going to the Corpus Christi Police Academy in November when he turns 18. All of his snoop-snoopity-snooping over the years is paying off. Bronzer was born to be a detective. It's in his blood. For instance, over the last few months, Bronzer could always tell me who drank the last of the family's Kool-Aid by examining his siblings' faces and their clothing. Four out of five times, my youngest child, Fenty, was usually the culprit. Bronzer would always identify Fenty's large Kool-Aid mustache and the large splashes of Kool-Aid on the front of his T-shirts as clues to his guilt since he never wipes his mouth after drinking anything and he is the only lefty in the family and always has a hard time pouring from his nana's glass pitcher without spilling it on himself as a result. My oldest twin daughter, L'Oreal, confessed to being the culprit once after Bronzer questioned her for twenty minutes straight about it after finding a large red spot on one of her white tennis shoes one day.

Guess what!? I have another praise report to share with you all! My youngest twin girl, 14-year-old Maybelline-Mckenna was just accepted into LaGuardia High School, you know the highly competitive performing arts high school in New York City that was featured in the popular 80s TV show called Fame. Fortunately, Maybelline will be staying with her uber-strict Great Aunt Mae during the school year. Everyone knows that Auntie Mae "Don't Play", so I have nothing to worry about when it comes to Maybelline on the behavior front.

Leroy Johnson was always my favorite character from the Fame television show. I told Maybelline to stay away from those charismatic Leroy types once she hits the LaGuardia High halls. You know the type that I am referring to: the handsome Leroy types with the cornrows, bedroom eyes & too much swagger for their own good. We sho'll don't need anyone interfering with my babygirl's potential. Especially since Maybelline's hard work is finally paying off. She has a 3.9 GPA and will be majoring in hip hop and jazz piano come this fall. My investment in that $1700 electric piano and piano lessons, four Christmases ago was not for not.

I am also very proud and happy to report that Maybelline has mad respect for the old heads, and as a result, she can play all of Tupac's greatest hits flawlessly via the piano.

Remember that time that Tupac almost became Bronzer, Maybelline & L'Oreal's daddy, y'all?... If I hadn't broken my leg skating and had to skip the summer jam concert the summer that he was headlining in Austin back in the day, he would of sho'll nuff been hubby #1. I guarantee it!

Whew! I'm still blinded by that man's beauty, but let me get back on track, y'all. I'm so doggone proud of Maybelline that every time that I look at her, I want to yell out the famous tagline from the Fame TV show theme song!

I might as well hit you all with it right now:

🎶 Fame! I'm gonna live forever! I'm gonna learn how to fly, high!! 🎶

On a serious note though, thanks again for your prayers beautiful people they're truly working!

Thanks so much for stopping by!!

Much Love,

Tiffa Go 🌸

P.S.

Please enjoy the Fame TV show theme song on me, for nostalgia's sake! 😁