5 Hard Truths About Being a Leader

If you have ever been on a team that was led by a great leader, the one thing that you probably remember most is how they made you feel.

That’s because in order to get others to follow you, you must first inspire them. And a big part of making people feel inspired comes down to making them feel good about themselves, their abilities, and your ability to lead them.

While that might sound nice, the reality is being a successful leader doesn’t come easy for most people. In fact, good leadership requires you to face some hard truths about what it really takes to successfully lead others to accomplish a mission.

1. Leaders know how to be good listeners

Leadership is about so much more than barking out orders to underlings. A true leader listens before they speak. They hear constructive feedback from their team — and are willing to make adjustments when it’s necessary. Leaders also ask thoughtful questions in order to understand the point of view of their team members.

2. Leaders know how to solve conflicts

No matter the team, conflicts are nearly impossible to avoid. Therefore, a good leader doesn’t try to ignore problems and disagreements between team members. Instead, they face conflicts head-on as both a peacemaker and a problem-solver. Again, this is where having active listening skills can come in handy, so they can better understand a situation from every angle.

3. Leaders know how to help their team members grow

The more your team members grow, the more they can accomplish. Therefore, good leadership also depends on being able to help others be (or become) their very best. In some organizations, this is called coaching. But a better example is mentoring. True leaders understand how to maximize the individual strengths of their team members, as well as identify opportunities for improvement.

4. Leaders know who matters most — employees

While the goal of every business is to maximize owner/shareholder value by serving customers well; the goal of every leader should be to serve their employees well. They ensure their employees have everything they need to succeed. And they go to bat for their team members, because they know everyone is on the same team.

5. Leaders know that they can’t ask others to do what they aren’t willing to do themselves

Lastly, successful leaders make decisions with the best interest of their employees in mind. For example, good leaders never ask a subordinate to do something they aren’t willing to do. If an employee is asked to work overtime, their manager needs to be willing to put in extra hours, too.

In short, the most successful leaders are good listeners and problem solvers. They don’t just inspire team members to be their very best; they know how to help them grow to get there. Furthermore, true leaders know who their number one priority is — their team members. Above all, leadership requires leading by example, not by intimidation or threat.

What Are Some Harsh Truths About Being a Leader

Many people think of leadership as a glorified profession, one with impressive titles and lots of prestige and benefits. That may or may not be the case, but every level of leadership involves some hard truths. If you’re already in leadership, you likely know these all too well already, but if you’re aspiring to a leadership role, or if you work with a leader, keep them in mind:

Leadership means sacrifice. Leadership at its core is about sacrifice of self-interest. True leadership is other-focused—it’s about investing in other people to help them succeed, even at the expense of your own interests. You have to put your personal priorities away and work for the good of your people.

Leadership means constantly being judged. People are especially judgmental of their boss. Every decision you make—from promotions to project assignments to office decor—is subject to scrutiny. You have to learn not to take it personally, and that’s not always easy.

Leadership means having to be strong for others. People come to their leader with all kinds of challenges and burdens, and it’s part of your charge to always be strong and looking out for them. Making sure that people feel supported and provided for takes an enormous amount of perseverance.

Leadership means carrying the load. You may not have a sign on your desk that says “The Buck Stops Here,” but if you’re in leadership, it does stop with you. You’re in charge so you have to take responsibility, even when the burden is difficult.

Leadership means making people unhappy. There will always be people who don’t support your ideas and initiatives, and some of those people may actively oppose you or be upset with your choices. You truly cannot make everyone happy or have everyone like you. The best you can do is to be honest and consistent in yourself.

Leadership means failing visibly. Everyone makes mistakes and everyone has failures. But when a leader fails, they fail in full view of the entire team. Bad judgment calls and missteps, large or small, are right there. Everyone knows about them; there’s nowhere to hide and no excuses that will help.

Leadership means being mindful of your influence. As a leader you need to pay attention to everything that comes out of your mouth. Your words matter, whether you’re addressing a large group, in a small meeting, or telling a joke in the hall. People will be paying attention to what you say and how you say it.

Leadership means liking your people, even the difficult ones. As a leader, your first priority is the people who work for you, even the most difficult, the most challenging, the most unpersonable. It’s a priority that can be tough to maintain.

Being a leader is not for the weak. You’re constantly scrutinized, judged and held to a higher standard than most people. Great leaders always find a way to make it work—and that’s what makes them great leaders.

Lead from within: There’s no manual for leadership, no five-step process that will give you the answers. You have to sort out how to be a great leader by doing it and being it.

If you liked this story and would like to support me (and thousands of other writers), please consider a Vocal Media subscription OR Tip for only $5 a month or $50 a year.