Through the Eyes of Bill Bixby
For Annie Kapur's ''Childhood Scares'' Challenge

Link to the Challenge:
Thank you for the Challenge, Annie. I may forgive you one day.
I had quite a few fears as a child. It is not worth my time listing all of them here, but I count my father, the odd bully, death, and the possibility that I just did not belong to the family I was with as a large part of the list. It was so bad that I reached the point, when we moved to the suburbs, that I could watch any horror film by myself and barely feel any fear (my mother wondered how I could sit in our basement on a Friday night watching some of the best years of Wes Craven and John Carpenter). To me, they were just cartoonish fantasies after everything else I faced and thought of.
But there was one particular standout...
''The Incredible Hulk'' television series aired from 1977 to 1982, starring Lou Ferrigno in the title role, and Bill Bixby as his calm alter ego, Dr. David Banner (they changed the name of the character from Bruce to make it sound - still cannot believe this - more masculine). When the scientist got angry, he would transform into an angry and muscular green monster, often doing the right thing when he had no choice but to fight back. It is hard to explain just how strange it was to see the Hulk and a few other Marvel heroes on television in the late 70s/early 80s (there was once a crossover episode with Thor that still makes me laugh), but I was a Gen-X kid who was just learning about that world, and I loved to watch...
Excluding one particular thing:
Those eyes.
It seems a shame that with CGI and all that money that the studios have not exploited this particular sign of a man ''under extreme emotional stress'' - thanks, IMDb - to scare the living runoff out of young fans. Fear is a very important key to understanding why the Hulk remains one of the most popular characters to ever appear in a comic book. We all lose our temper; we all feel like we could reach a point where we may go too far and then...
"Don't make me angry. You wouldn't like me when I'm angry".
Dr. David Banner
I never forgot those lines, and I believed it when I saw those eyes go white and realized that the failed experiment was once again showing its worst side...
No, not the violence that would send the scientist back on the road to go into hiding again. Not the rage and strength he would only use to fight bad guys who simply did not heed the above message. None of these mattered...
It was all in those eyes.
Yes, I was a little kid, and my family was tickled by the fact that this was the part of the transformation that scared me the most. I have thought about all of the reasons why such a moment bothered me as a kid, and I think it has to do with the things that my father did when he wanted to unsettle and abuse me. He would focus on me when we were all alone, scare me and then belittle me. Watching a television series where the title character could not control this action was a very telling experience.
So, the child grows to be a man who can still remember this key childhood fear...
Thanks for making me head back here, Annie. I will have to think about forgiving both you...and myself.
Please share; you wouldn't like me if you didn't...
Look into my eyes and...
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Kendall Defoe
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