Terrible

I'm a terrible person.

I lie. A lot. To my husband, my coworkers, my boss, my friends, my family, to you reading this.

I've made decisions that have deeply hurt people then just continue on with my life like nothing happened.

I'm self-serving. I'll only do something if I think I can get something out of it. Everything I do has an ulterior motive.

I judge people. I think I'm better than everyone at pretty much everything.

I can smile and laugh and joke with you, but on this inside I'm seething with hatred for you.

I live a double life inside my own head. A fictional life where I have the success and relationships that I'd never be able to have in the real world.

I never call or text first. I'm a terrible conversationalist.

I look at other people's art, and I think "My stuff is better than that".

I comment on/like/repost/etc other people's content simply to increase the chances that they will reciprocate and give me a little dopamine hit.

I desperately seek validation from other people. I want them to like me, to love me, to idolise me. Yet I hate myself and want to disappear, so if you show any positivity towards me, I immediately think you must have something wrong with you and my validation seeking turns to disgust at both of us.

I will outwardly encourage and support you, but internally I'm wondering why you're wasting your time.

I've let down everyone at some point.