Talking Hearts

Author's Note: The photo is what the title, "Talking hearts" brought up on unsplash. First thing is we do not look like the couple above! Except my husband shaves his head too, and has some facial hair in the form of a mustache, and I see that look regularly, when he is looking at me. And finally, we are probably 40 plus years older than that couple. Seventy-two and seventy-six.

Talking Hearts couple’s edition cards prompts:

What emotion do you have the hardest time expressing?

What's your go-to excuse to get out of something?

Talking Hearts cards

Difficulty expressing emotion

John: Affection Denise: affection is not an emotion. But fear is and that may be what holds you back? You don't show fear, but it may be connected. We talked a bit about how the only emotion that was commonly shown was anger. All other emotions were not seen often, in our alcoholic families growing up.

Denise: I looked up emotion. I did and after reading the list out loud, I said, I'm not sure what it would be for me. I think I'm pretty well-rounded with expressing emotion. John: Yes. You show everything! Denise: Then we laughed!

Go-to excuse

John: I have so much to do! Denise: Yes, like what? Like you have to go to the dumps? That takes you 20-30 minutes total time, without conversation.

Denise: I'm busy. You're on your own for dinner. And it's not Sunday!

Talking Hearts couple’s edition cards prompts:

How well do you think you're taking care of yourself?

What was one of the first things you told your friends or family about me?

Talking Hearts cards

Self care

John: Good! It is a top priority. I don't want to be moving slow like what I see in others. Denise: are you talking about me? John: No, not yet. Wait until you are my age. Then we laugh!

Denise: I do occasional weights, walk in the big box stores, and do housework, laundry and haul my own bags from the car now, along with walking up our stairs, and not avoiding others. I don't get dropped off at the door of stores anymore. I've ridden my motorcycle more this summer than the past few. I'm getting better! We laugh!

Told friends or family about me

John: I don't remember telling family or friends about you. (Long pause) I don't think men are like women. I think they could tell, by how I was smiling more and acting different. Denise: like when Tammy called asking if you were with me? She said you have a routine and you should have been home by now? We laugh!

Denise: My toughest conversation was with my mother. As a teen she warned my sister and I against getting involved with the Bena boys. And to tell her I was seeing a Bena boy after we were in a relationship was tough. Good thing she said, "I can tell you are happy, and that is all I ever want for you!"

Talking Hearts couple’s edition cards prompts:

What's one thing that surprised you about getting older?

Aside from my current job, what's another profession you think I would be good at?

Talking Hearts cards

Getting older surprises

John: I didn't realize everything that does happen. Bones wearing out, new knees, and I need new shoulders. Then losing elasticity and how fast aging comes on.

Denise: I think aging sneaks up on you. You don't feel older, until you notice the wrinkles, and the crepey skin. The thinning hair. Yes. In our seventies, we are old, especially you! We laugh.

Another profession I would be good at

John: You could do anything relating to communicating with people.

Denise: I think you could teach welding, work with kids, and I know you like to build and care for equipment, and yard work.