Talking Hearts

Author's Note: I said yes, 26 years ago. We have been married 21 years, engaged 22 years ago. When we met, he had a 14-year-old daughter, and I had just finished raising 3 teens. All out of the home and on their own. His baby is 40 now.

Talking Hearts cards - Couples edition prompts:

Have you changed your mind about anything recently?

What in our lives is having its golden age now?

Talking Hearts cards

Changing your mind recently?

John: No!

Denise: What about answering these questions every Monday? And what about when I don't answer one for you? And what about since the accident and your broken ankle?

John: Still no!

Denise: I am not waiting until fall. I am giving notice at my weekly job. Writing the letter of resignation this week. Giving them time to find someone before November, when my substitute is gone.

What is having its golden age?

John: We are in our golden age now. I am done working. Sitting back. Attention from my wife every night.

Denise: Wishful thinking in your golden age?

John: A guy can dream, right?

Denise: What about you are living your dream?

John: That is right. I can go back to always wanting more from time to time, can't I.

Denise: My experience with the golden age for us baby boomers has changed. Probably prior to my retirement, I started to see just how. You retired in 2012 and got the retirement you dreamt of. It was 2016, when I retired. I made plenty of money in my lifetime.

I wasn't good at saving. I know that is a part of why I need to work part-time. But the work I do is important. What I am doing for work is for my Native American people. I focus on training counselors working with Native American clients.

I work as a culture consultant. Sharing a curriculum that educates the audience on Native American history, and culture. It is so that my Indigenous people are not a revolving door with mental health and substance abuse. That is important to me.

Talking Hearts cards - Couples edition prompts:

What has someone done that made you lose respect for them?

How would you spend an extra 3 hours a day?

Talking Hearts cards

Losing respect?

John: Being dishonest.

Denise: First, it is people who are racist, misogynistic, prejudicial in general. Then closer to home, changing political status. I still love them. I will never fully understand that kind of support from anyone I love.

An extra 3 hours a day?

John: A hobby, I suppose, like more time riding my motorcycle, the 4-wheelers, go-cart, the snowmobile in the winter.

Denise: No art? Like guitar?

John: No, not really. No interest, I did that a lot early in recovery. It helped.

Denise: I would definitely write more. And I would practice working on the art I love. I would spend more time with you, friends, and family. And I would do more for others and practice better self-care.

Talking Hearts cards - Couples edition prompts:

What have you been feeling insecure about recently?

What's your favorite part of the holidays?

Talking Hearts cards

Insecure about?

John: It is getting old. My body is falling apart. I am more irritated about this than insecure though. Not sure what I'm insecure about.

Denise: Maybe that it will take a lot longer to heal than you are expecting and that you won't find out until Wednesday just how long.

Denise: No comment from John. Let's move on then.

Denise: Your accident made me insecure about our future. The accident could have been a whole lot worse. I don't wish to even talk about how bad it could have been. But it has left me feeling insecure about losing you. (silence from both of us.)

Favorite part of the holidays?

John: It has always been going camping. We should've been this 4th, but not this year. I enjoy 4-wheeling with family, picnic food, and the time spent overall with family.

Denise: Having time off for the holidays. Spending time with the kids wherever we can. Camping, cooking, meals together. Parades, fireworks, shopping, birthday celebrations. Memories. All of it!