Sometimes It's Not All About You

Ok. For a writer, it is usually all about you. It’s your thoughts, experiences, and opinions on the page. That's the whole point, right?

But the road to becoming the world's next Zadie Smith or Michal Chabon, is not a sprint; it's a marathon. It’s going to take time, probably years. Anyone who’s been on a marathon would know you need to smile at your fellow companions on the journey to keep your spirits up, or else you’re not going to make it.

My preference leans towards alone time. Lots of it. Getting away from all those troublesome human interaction. But, I've learned it doesn’t help my creativity.

I have friends whose minds are a buzz of activity and inspiration, a constant stream of self generated new ideas. Yet, when I’m in the still and quiet, my mind shuts down. Thoughts stop flowing. I sink into a malaise. What’s the point? Why bother doing anything?

I need stimulation, some coming from the outside to jar my mind into action. Like a metaphorical paper shredder working in reverse, my mind devours a flow of little tidbits and puts them together into larger ideas and calls to action. Is this what ADHD feels like? I’m not sure.

I like background noise and do much of my writing in coffee shops. I'm in one now. At the table across from me, I hear the back and forth of a business meeting. A woman with a posh Australian accent introduces herself to a man who has the appearance and demeanor of someone in business. I eavesdrop. There are thank-yous for things that have happened. They discuss people they know, that I obviously don’t. Is this a sales meeting? If so, who is selling whom? Or is this something illicit? Or illegal? My mind races with all the possibilities.

I think I might have a new plot…I begin to write.

But, how to write well? I ask myself. I’ve watched countless educational videos with titles such as, 6 steps to Improve Your Writing or 10 Mistakes Beginning Writers Make. They all have the same advice: use short sentences, write with strong verbs, don’t use adverbs…verbs are engaging, visually describing the scene with “is/was” sentences is so 19th century.

There was a famous teacher at the Iowa Writers Workshop who was very fond of Raymond Carver. He taught his students to write like Raymond Carver. These students became teachers, then taught their students, and within a few generations, the short direct style of Raymond Carver’s writing has spread like gospel across the English-speaking/writing world.

Countless YouTube videos later, I have mastered these ideals. One day, for inspiration, I open one of my favorite books: Anthony Bourdain’s Kitchen Confidential. Every page is poetic and unique. I want to write like this! I take a close look at his prose. And it’s stuffed to the gills with adverbs and adjectives. It has sentences that go on and stretch into full paragraphs. All the things the experts tell us not to do, he does. But it works, brilliantly.

We need to find the style that works for us. I believe we are all on a writing journey to discover that. A marathon of writing, and feedback from readers, to slowly unearth “our” voice, the one that connects with readers. The one that moves people to read what we have written, feel what we feel.

And there will be setbacks. Last week, my entry in a short fiction competition was rejected. I was certain it was my best stories in a long while. I wanted to shout at my screen, then deploy the formidable weapon of angry email to assault everyone connected to this conspiracy to reject my entry.

“It's not all about you,” I told myself.

Before doing rash and emotional, I knew I needed to have a pause. An adult time-out. To distract myself, I scrolled down the list of entries in the competition, found a few writers I didn't know, ones haven't received any likes or comments. An opening paragraph caught my eye. I took a deep breath, and then completely immersed myself in another writer’s story.

A day later, I received this:

It brought me to tears to read this too.

Treasure the effect you can have on your fellow writers. It's not all about you. Scroll through the Submissions list of a Vocal Challenge that you have submitted to. Find a title and opening paragraph that catches your eye. Devote 10 minutes to immerse yourself in the story. (You've been writing for hours, right?) Read someone else's story, searching out what you like about it. Turn off your inner critic and tell them three completely positive things you saw in their writing. Give water to those most promising seeds and you may see a new flower bloom.