Restless, Irritable and Discontent

Self-love is the road toward healing. These prompts are an invitation to step inside yourself. Rupi Kaur

Taking a look when feeling troubled is important to me. It is also helpful to look inside when everything is going well.

Staying in today is the best. I only lived in the past or future until my mid-20s. I.E. Because this happened before then this will happen tomorrow.

For today, I will live this day only.

Rupi Kaur’s Self-Love Writing Prompts — The toughest lesson life has taught me is ________________________.

We have no idea what life will bring. We can do our best to live and love and we do not know when our time will be up or anyone else. My children's father and my husband died from his addiction. He went to treatment at least 5 times and could not stay sober.

We don’t all make it out of addiction. Why him and not me? I did what others do and here I am. Is it really that simple? No. I like to think that one of us had to make it for our children. And that was me, with less time in addiction. My husband was six years older than me.

I will sometimes rehash what could have been the problem for him to continue living. What I might have done differently. I have looked at how like some with dementia, we can lose someone before death in addiction. He was lost to us before his death at age 45.

Then we never know who will make it and who won’t. So I will do my best to live life and love our children for both of us!

Rupi Kaur’s Self-Love Writing Prompts — How have you grown in the last five years?

I have been in recovery for many years and I ran into what is called a dry drunk.

Meaning, I have been restless, irritable, and discontent. When experiencing this it is time to redouble my efforts to find my solution. I learned about this in my late 20s.

Years ago, I was at a candlelight meeting with a handful of older sober people, when I came in desperate for help. I thought I was heading for a drunk! It felt like there was nothing I could do to stop it. I was in a panic. I was at the perfect place.

Again, I was at the perfect place when another person recently talked about what he was going through. I was one of the older sober people, and I knew what he was talking about as I was there before and I was there again. Not as desperate, and I don’t believe I would have drank but yes, I was there.

Restless, irritable, and discontent are how it was described to me. The solution is to redouble my efforts and I could share that with this person as it was once told to me.

Funny how that works. I then recognized what was going on with me. Being more in touch with others like me makes it possible to make the changes I need to make in my life to live the good life. I am happy, joyous, and free most of the time because of this.

Rupi Kaur’s Self-Love Writing Prompts — What makes you feel connected to the earth?

Ceremony — Greeting the sunrise, water ceremony, other ceremonies, and gatherings with friends and family while camping and in the woods and by water.

I was out this morning and there was fog. It was so foggy, I did not see the sunrise, at 6:46 my time, but I did hear the birds start to sing at exactly that time. What a gift to hear nature waking for another day! And what an important way for me to greet the day!

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First published by Mercury Press on medium.com