Penitence

In the movie Indiana Jones and the Last Crusade towards the end as Indy is working his way towards the Holy Grail, he gets to a spot where he's repeating the phrase "the penitent man shall pass", and in the nick of time figures out that it means he has to kneel, barely missing a swing axe that would have chopped his head off.

I loved the Indiana Jones movies as a kid. I haven't gone back and rewatched them as an adult, because I don't want them to lose that glow of perfection they have in my memory.

I used to say that Indiana Jones was my first crush. It wasn't until the last few years, when I figured out that I'm Asexual, that I've realised I didn't actually have a crush on Indy. What I was feeling was something more akin to gender envy. I didn't want BE WITH Indy, I wanted to BE Indy.

I'd play games in the back yard, running around going on imaginary adventures with Indy. In these adventures, I was there as his love interest. Not because I wanted to make-believe the romance side of things, but because that was the only way I'd seen women included in the movies.

My 'character' in these adventures wasn't some helpless damsel needing rescuing. She was also an archaeologist and had been partnered up for a job with Indy. For some reason, I thought it was ok for a woman to also be an archaeologist and have the same job as Indy, but I didn't think she would be allowed to go and have these adventures on her own. Or maybe I did have a little bit of a crush on Indy.