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Open letter, to all vocal writers:

On art and reciprocal liking

By Sam SpinelliPublished 11 months ago • Updated 11 months ago • 12 min read
Open letter, to all vocal writers:
Photo by Jackson Sophat on Unsplash

Hello fellow writers!

I know it’s pretty audacious for me to address the broader community here, I’m literally just some guy.

My opinion doesn’t really matter.

But I have some thoughts I’d like to share, in the hopes that they might motivate your creativity.

Really these thoughts are in response to the many thoughtful and thought provoking pieces I’ve read from writers whom I admire on this site.

While my appreciation for these artists hasn’t wavered, I have no choice but to contradict what I’ve come to notice as a prevailing sentiment— or atleast an obvious pattern— of number obsession.

I’m typing up these thoughts as a post rather than as comments on the writings others have posted for three reasons.

1) Respect for fellow creatives. There’s a lot I have to say that’s critical of our creative community (and our human nature) and I’m including myself in this criticism. But I don’t want to name others, because the point here is to express my thoughts respectfully, not to tear down other writers just for expressing opinions I don’t agree with. I’m not attacking anybody here, and I worry that voicing my contradiction on someone else’s page could come across as unkind.

2) Respect for the writing of fellow creatives. Again there’s a lot I have to say, and even if it were received the way I’d hope, it would still be too much to say in the comment section of someone else’s work. I don’t want to rant on someone else’s writing, that would feel like hijacking their creative space. I’m not going to do that.

3. And again-again, I have a LOT to say! These thoughts I’m sharing have gradually coalesced over the past couple months, and in truth I’m too scatter brained to respond individually to each and every writer I’ve agreed or disagreed with on the subject of art and community.

So this is NOT a response to any specific writer or their work! This is a collection of my thoughts, and a glimpse of the dynamic between my rambling mind and the output of this community.

Let me begin by saying:

Art does not necessarily have to be a social thing— the art we creatives make for ourselves is no less valid than the art we make to share.

You can write, paint, sing, or whatever else privately and that’s no less worth your time.

Making private art of any form can be an exploration of self, a form of self entertainment, and an exercise/ practice of your creative skill.

Use your art to better understand who you are and what you intend in this world, use your art to pass the time, use your art as self-therapy for big emotions, and use your art as an exercise in mindfulness or technical growth.

Use your art— for you! There’s nothing wrong with asocial “selfish” art.

I say all this because I feel like I’ve seen many writers on this site— writers who I follow and admire— complaining or even grieving about a perceived lack of engagement.

I’ve seen people delete beautiful writing because they thought it hadn’t been well received. I’ve seen people lose heart and confidence because the stream of likes and accolades felt inconsistent.

And I want to tell every writer on Vocal that your art can still have tremendous worth even if it hasn’t made a big splash!

Your art can have tremendous worth for its own sake and for yours!

You’re allowed to benefit from your creativity regardless of whether it’s posted and regardless of whether it’s celebrated.

Please don’t let hunger for affirmations poison your creative drive.

Of course, there’s nothing wrong with social art either!

Sharing your work with others can be a fulfilling way to engage with others— to challenge or sympathize with the people who encounter your work! Sharing your art does not diminish the value of the work in any way!

Sharing your writing can truly be a noble thing, that allows you to connect in an almost psychic way with your readers. You can entertain others— you can brighten someone’s day or help them know that in their sadness they are not alone. Your art can open up deep and powerful conversations. Your stories, poems, and articles can be helpful, healing, entertaining, or full of insightful commentary that can motivate positive change in individuals and communities.

Or your art can just be beautiful in a raw and expressive kind of way— neither contaminated nor bolstered by any loftier goals or intentions.

I’d go so far as to say art is a human need! So when you share your creativity, you’re offering a good thing for the people around you. Not for us creatives to pat ourselves on the backs too much, but when we create we’re participating in an honest, human effort which has the power to heal and sustain a fundamental aspect of social wellness.

Artists— when they share their work— really become servants to the public!

That said…

If you make art to share, it stands to reason you probably hope to share your art with as many people as possible. That’s okay! Whether this hope is fueled by an intention to help, to maximize impact, or simply to satisfy one’s own ego— it remains a natural impulse.

It’s okay to be proud of what you’ve made and it’s okay to want to pass it around, in the hopes others will find some value in it too.

So when you share a piece and it is acknwoledged and gladly received by a wide audience— that can be a satisfying feeling!

But PLEASE don’t let METRICS suck the soul out of your creativity!

Remember that even one reader really feeling your work is a beautiful thing. Even one reader valuing your art is almost miraculous as a human exchange. Don’t get caught up in view counts, likes, and comments. These are not always indications of quality or worth, sometimes they are simply indications of luck!

Same goes for vocal accolades! Take pride in your achievements on this site, when your creations are celebrated with top story placements or challenge wins— you should feel good about that!

But do NOT let a lack of accolades or engagement cause you to lose heart.

Wins and top stories and even things as simple as likes and comments can be the result of your story just being in the right place at the right time— I mean that quite literally.

Sometimes engagement metrics really just come down to your publishing time stamps lining up with increases to site traffic.

Okay?

So please, stop using stats to judge your art!

Why am I saying all this now?

Because again I’ve seen and interacted with a ton of talented writers on here who have at one point or another shown their frustration with or insecurities over things like read-counts and likes.

Please, don’t let those metrics matter to the very heart of your artistic impulse.

Now, I also want to weigh in on the idea of reciprocal reading.

I’ve seen a handful of writers I follow— again, wildly talented writers— sort of gripe and groan about a feeling that their efforts to engage with other writers are not reciprocated by other writers returning the effort and reading their stuff!

To be totally frank, I’ve felt the beginnings of this same disappointed sentiment myself— like a fungus or festering rot. But when I see it beginning to grow, I tear it out by the roots and leave it to die in the sunlight.

I strongly reject the idea that reads, comments, or likes should be reciprocated.

Since when should my appreciation for someone else’s art obligate them to appreciate mine?

That’s a level of neediness and entitlement I am not willing to personally, willfully entertain.

I am NOT saying that creatives shouldn’t support one another— on the contrary. We absolutely should support one another. We should lift each other up, cheer each other on, and we should comfort and strengthen each other with whatever means we have!

BUT

Our engagement should absolutely be sincere! It should never be forced, it should never be contrived. It should never be strategic.

But so often, it is!

Many of us are all too taken with the concept of engagement and traffic. The way social media has normalized a self obsessed neuroticism that pervades our online activity is really not healthy for individuals or communities— and it is absolutely poisonous to the value and the effort of art.

Yes, it’s natural to get a rush of satisfaction when people like your post or give your writing a compliment— and yes its okay to appreciate that symbol of approval. It’s okay to make art, with the intention of sharing it and it’s okay to want that art to reach as many people as possible.

It’s even okay to reciprocate the attention other creatives give.

If someone spends time engaging with your art it’s natural to give their work a glance and see if anything resonates with you.

But the problem here is when that reciprocal interaction feels forced like a chore.

I maintain that artists should support other artists with whatever time, energy, or resource they can spare.

But please for the love of human creativity, don’t let a lack of reciprocation matter to you and don’t let the pressure to reciprocate drive you.

Wanna support other writers? Look for people who’s writing really resonates with you and let them know! Show appreciation to artists who truly impress you. Lend courage to those who show great potential. Offer insights to those who are open to feedback and critique. But stop polluting each other’s creative spaces with insincere comments that are only intended to pay or illicit a debt!!!!

For my part:

If I comment on YOUR stories you do not have to “return the favor”. I want you all— every writer on vocal— to understand: if I engage with your work it’s because your work moved me. I do not expect or want you to feel the same towards my work. Let my appreciation of you stand on its own, let it feed no sense of obligation!

I want my comments to be taken as they are mean to be taken, that is to say sincerely.

I will never ask anyone to reciprocate my likes or comments or reads.

First off, I don’t want to burden other creatives, if I’m trying to boost you up with words and comments, I want you take that energy use it to feed your future creativity— I do not want you to use that encouragement and that energy to gas me up.

Second, I do not want creative spaces like vocal to devolve into the same shallow, vociferous echo chambers that are standard social media. Artistic spaces are not the place for “like for a like” type sentiments.

And third, I don’t want to feel obligated to read your stuff just because you read mine. I’ll treat your comments as an introduction to your artist presence, and I’ll check out your page. But let’s just say, hypothetically, that your genre of choice is a genre I can’t bear to read. Do you really want me to show up to shower you with false praises? Hopefully you don’t want that, because I won’t do it…. If a glance at your work shows me it’s not for me, I’m gonna move on. If however a glance at your work shows me you’ve got stuff I’ll appreciate, I’ll check it out in greater attention and if anything really strikes me I’ll let you know.

And it won’t be because you gave me a pat on the back over my stuff. It’ll be because you made something good and worthwhile.

Please don’t fall into this pseudo-social trap of the “like for like” influencer mentality.

And please for the love of God don’t go seeking it.

It’s very natural to want to reciprocate.

In fact, this is a phenomenon psychologists call “reciprocal liking” which comes into play within many social encounters, both on and offline. Basically, the idea is this: we as individuals are instinctively compelled to appreciate and admire people we perceive as appreciating and admiring us! This is part of how flirting works, you’ve probably experienced a budding sense of attraction towards someone you didn’t really notice until they began showing an interest in you. It’s also how successful job interviews work. Aside from laying out your credentials part of making a good first impression on a possible future employer is showing a professional interest so that you stand out. It also comes into play in friendships. Someone compliments your taste in music, your fashion sense, your jokes, or your art… you automatically start to think that person is cool too.

And it comes into play in politics and cults. Followers are convinced they’re seen, loved, and important to cult leaders, and that’s part of what subconsciously convinces them to give said leader unwavering attention, admiration, and trust.

Reciprocal liking is a real thing, and when it’s built of sincerity, it can be a good thing!

But when it’s contrived it’s toxic.

Ultimately it’s always better to just be fucking sincere.

Like what you like! Not what liked you.

Like what you like; without expecting a like in return.

And let’s be real— the world is messier and more unbalanced than it’s ever been. Art takes energy, and nobody has an unlimited supply.

So please, don’t ever feel obligated to read someone’s work if that obligation means undercutting your own potential for creativity.

Every hour you spend reading other people’s work is a worthwhile way to spend your time. It’s a great support to the artists you actually appreciate and admire.

But that’s one less hour for you to work on your own art.

I’m not saying read less, and I’m not saying read more. I’m just saying be mindful of your own balance. Don’t give away so much of your time that you find yourself too tired or depleted for your own work. Interacting with a creative social group like vocal can be a very good thing, but don’t let this obsession with engagement get in the way of honesty, authenticity and sincerity in your own art and towards the art of others.

A big thank you to the people who write and a big thank you to those who read for the fun of it instead of out of some manufactured sense of obligation. A big thank you to those who comment on stuff they truly appreciate and to those who encourage writers to keep going!

And a reminder, now and forever: if I’ve commented on your work and showed any appreciation— YOU ARE IN NO WAY OBLIGATED TO RECIPROCATE!

And if you comment on my stuff, do not allow yourself expect that I’ll return the favor. I have a busy life with lots of obligations and limited time. I work. I’m trying to get in shape. And I’m a single dad with primary custody of three very loud (but awesome and wonderful) children. I’m also tired as fuck every day and I have serious ADD.

Usually I barely have the mental focus to work on my own writing! So of course it’s a rare thing for me to have the time and focus and energy to dedicate to reading other peoples writing.

After my own efforts to create art, I seek to use my left over time to support fellow creatives, based on who appeals to my tastes not based on who appealed to my sense of obligation.

You damn well better believe that I’m gonna use that meager effort I can muster to support artists I really believe in, not just the people who’ve dropped in to say hello on my stories.

Last thing I’ll say on this subject: this site is overflowing with talent. You could spend hours every day reading, and still miss out on some great stuff.

So don’t waste your fucking time reading stuff you don’t actually, really, truly love.

If you’re gonna spend any time reading, make sure it’s from an author you actually enjoy! If you’re simply engaging with the people who’ve commented on your stuff, you’re not only gassing them up, you’re also wasting your time on an unnecessary chore instead of seeking out phenomenal art that will really resonate with you where you’re at in life.

Happy writing and happy reading. Don’t let the pressure to reciprocate interfere with your authenticity.

And one last time: none of you vocal writers are ever expected to return my comments and likes. In the rare cases where I show up on your stuff, I’m showing up to lend you some creative energy. Please keep it. Use it to make more of the art I admire. Sending that energy right back to me would really be an insult, like refusing a gift.

Do not reciprocate my likes and comments.

If you feel motivated to write— fantastic!

If you feel motivated to read— also fantastic!

But choose to read art that will really inspire or entertain you. Your time and energy are both worth more than reciprocal likes.

Seriously and forever.

-sam

InspirationStream of ConsciousnessAdviceVocalCommunity

About the Creator

Sam Spinelli

Trying to make real art the best I can, never Ai!

Help me write better! Critical feedback is welcome :)

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    Written by Sam Spinelli