On the Life and Legacy of Slavering Sam

Subscribers who have received the most recent delivery of digital artifacts from the 2030s “internet” era have undoubtedly noticed the adult materials featuring male pornstar Sam Spinelli, better known in his day by the stage name “Slavering Sam.”

Now, as always, this most recent data dump is… massive.

So we here at Deep Dive Magazine are once again ready, able, and willing to pour over each video, image gallery, and restored comment thread to break down this latest release into organized, coherent information  for you, our loyal readers!

To that end, we will share every insight we can as to the historical context surrounding this ancient, digitally restored data!

Slavering Sam, aka “The Cunning Linguist” became an early 2030s “internet” sensation, for his unconventional approach to starring in adult entertainment,

According to what we have gleaned from the archives, he was known in his day for being one of the first male performers to deliberately feature cunilingus in every single one of his videos— always as the central focus, and very often to the complete exclusion of all other forms of sexual activity.

In fact, it would be accurate to describe his focus as both obsessive and counter-cultural.

In an era where adult entertainment was typically hyper focused on men’s pleasure and male dominance, a man eschewing his own physical satisfaction to showcase his voracious sexual subservience to women was seen as a groundbreaking sort of progress.

In fact, showering oral ministrations on co-stars without any reciprocation whatsoever became a hallmark for Sam, to such a degree that whenever another male pornstar released a video demonstrating the same model, fans would jokingly comment that they had “pulled a Sam.”

Back in those days, viewers publicly critiqued his performance on ancient social media sites such as “instagram” and “Reddit”, with one fan commenting “holy shit, I’ve never seen anyone so ravenous. It’s kinda scary. But…. Yes please.”

Another in the comment thread concurred, saying “he’s not, like, traditionally attractive.  But I, ahem, enjoy his technique.”

Another simply said “god DAMN! That man is rabid!”

At Sam’s debut, he hadn’t selected a stage name and was simply going by his legal name, “Sam Spinelli.” In retrospect, it almost seems fated, that one of the most upvoted comments under the original upload said “bruh, that’s a lot of drool. Can we petition to change homeboy’s legal name to Slobbering Sam?”

And a top reply suggested: “slavering would work better. Given the context, and the way he’s halfway between a trance and a feeding frenzy, lol”

(A brief note on the term “lol”: Internet users in the early 21st century were  very fond of using short acronyms to simplify text exchanges. If you’d like to further explore this archaic dialect of textual communication, please read Deep Dive’s write up on this phenomenon! Look up our article titled “Translating Old American to the modern tongue”. But, for the sake of immediate context, “LOL” stood for “lots of love” and that specific use indicates the commentator was expressing his or her appreciation for Slavering Sam’s erotic work.)

In any case, Sam quickly rose to achieve the 2030s manner of fame: internet stardom. His performance became the subject of memes, most of which made lighthearted references to Pavlov’s legendary experiments on classical conditioning. Many such memes joked that the women who performed with Slavering Sam probably carried little dinner bells, to keep him well trained. While the audio is of course degraded after all these centuries our skilled technicians have salvaged what they could and they are pretty sure that some of these memes were set to a now archaic punk rock anthem titled “Now I Wanna Be Your Dog”, which was written by somebody named “Disney” for a long lost film titled “one thousand and one Dalmatians, (a now extinct breed of domesticated canine).

We at Deep Dive cannot pretend to understand the bizarre sort of humor that was prevalent during this period of human history, we can only collect and report the facts to give you a sense of what life was like before the data-collapse of the mid 21st century.

Anyway, according to our research, Sam never understood the public fascination with his erotic performances. In fact, truly ahead of his time, he often seemed taken aback or even insulted to learn that others weren’t so eager to give out tongue lashings as he was.

During interviews, when asked why he had such a gluttonous approach to sex, he shrugged and asked “what do you mean?”

When we at Deep Dive viewed this archival video, we weren’t sure what the interviewer meant either. We thought that like us, Sam just didn’t know what the actual word “gluttonous” meant— it’s not a word we’d ever heard before. We immediately paused the video and went to ask our expert etymologist what the word meant, and apparently, like LOL, gluttonous is another bit of “Old American” linguistics. A “glutton” is someone who overeats, to a grotesque and unhealthy degree. These days, the root words for such archaic terms are somewhat convoluted. But our contact said the word “glutton” probably comes from a regional dialect, perhaps stemming from the word “glute” meaning “gluteus”, a muscle in the buttock which may appear more prominent among the gluttons of the past as they would eat such large quantities that they would often put on weight in their posterior regions.

Our etymologist also indicated that the word “glutton” might actually come from another Old American word for a mildly toxic protein in a now extinct cereal grain called “wheat”, the protein reportedly being referred to as “gluten”.

As of today there is no consensus among linguists and unless we unearth another trove of preserved memory discs with relevant data, the true origins of the term may be lost to time.

But again, since we’d never heard the word “gluttonous” we assumed Sam hadn’t either. Then literally, in the very next moment in the video interview, Sam shrugs and says: “I just  love to eat it. I think everyone should be a glutton for whoever they’re attracted to. It feels good to make people feel good. And come on, let’s be real. It’s fun. And it’s delicious.”

Aside from his game-changing pornographic performances and the way memes catapulted him into the public eye, there was one other element of life in the 2030s which seemed to facilitate Slavering Sam’s meteoric rise to fame: conflict.

Reportedly, Sam picked multiple fights with other famous men of his day. While we were not able to find any evidence that these fights got physical or resulted in any injuries, it’s our professional opinion that the level of animosity between Sam and these other famous, historic individuals could not have grown to such a degree unless it was spurred on by some manner of physical violence and consequent injury.

All we have today, to attest to the possible combative spectacles of the past comes from digital artifacts showing an online argument between two fans discussing the fight between Sam and two other men named “DJ Khaled” and “Ben Shapiro”.

You might recognize the name DJ Khaled as he was the subject of our recent write up about the world’s second trillionaire, and the 51st president of the United States.

We’re not yet sure who Ben Shapiro was, but we believe that like Khaled, he may have been a rapper. We are currently trying to reconstruct a corrupted video file which we believe to be a hip hop music video released by the “Ben Shapiro” in question!

Anyway, it seems Shapiro and Khaled ran afoul of Slavering Sam, back in the 2030s. We believe hostilities arose because of a difference of opinion regarding the act of  providing oral sex for women.

Through state of the art digital forensics, we were able to recover a direct quote from Sam himself on the conflict, he said: “DJ Khaled and Ben Shapiro are fucking morons. I don’t trust anyone who says they hate eating pussy.”

Nowadays, public opinion is nearly unanimously in favor of providing cunilingus, during sexual encounters but apparently in the 2030s this was a topic for debate, and between Sam and these other public figures it seemed to be an open point of serious contention.

But can we piece together anything else about the man behind the legend?

Was he merely a world famous adult performer, or was there more to the life of Slavering Sam Spinelli? Did he have dreams, or goals beyond the legacy we see of him today?

After our in depth research we have unearthed a thrilling discovery, one which we hope may change the way we anthropologists look at the lifestyles and ambitions of past generations!

Up until now, general consensus among historians has been that humans who lived during the internet era held no real interest in the literary arts or any other creative exploits. Indeed, it’s commonly that the AI boom of the 2030s and the following collapse of the World Wide Web were the primary stressors and catalysts which precluded the Art Renaissance of the 40s and 50s!

Suffice it to say, it’s a well established fact that compared to today, many— perhaps even a vast majority— of folks living prior to collapse put very little emphasis or import on the arts.

But, the more we learn about the people of the past, the more we realize some of them may have been more nuanced and complex than we have previously given them credit for.

Truly, it seems some rare examples of the people from back then were more like us than we ever realized. Slavering Sam is one example: he held a deep personal passion for writing, and even held the personal goal of publishing about book of poetry!

You might wonder how we could claim to know anything of Sam Spinelli’s personal goals…

Well, in an astounding recent discovery, anthropologists have discovered physical artifacts we believe were hand written directly by Slavering Sam, all the way back in the late 2020s— a sort of digital journal, wherein he sort of laments the fact that he held the dream at all, apparently because he thought his hopes far too outlandish to be realistic.

He wrote, and we quote:

“In the red again.  Fucking bills. How am I supposed to keep these kids fed as a single father? If their mother would at least take them for their visitation I could get another job. But she won’t. So what am I supposed to do?

Coincidentally somebody asked me today: I’d be doing if I could work my absolute dream job… easy! I love writing. I wish I had what it took to make a living off that. I mean, if I could break into any career, I’d be an author. To publish my stories and poems, that’s my greatest dream.

… Who the hell would ever read my stuff though, let alone buy it? In this day and age, where attention spans are dwindling to the microscopic?

Nobody gives a shit about reading, unless it’s shorter than a tweet or it triggers the lizard brain….

Smut sells, I know that.

But I don’t wanna write about sex and scandal, I wanna write stories I like.

I wanna be sensitive. I wanna write about my goddamned motherfucking feelings.

I wanna paint pictures with nothing but my words.

I wanna be a poet.

I wanna entertain people, I wanna inspire. I wanna make ‘em think. But that’s fucking boring. Even to me. If I were famous, maybe people would bother.

But I’m not.

And I don’t wanna be. I just wanna be regular old me.

A nobody.

Nameless.

And the only way a rando like me could ever make a living as a writer? I’d have to be a straight up literary genius. A total stand out in terms of talent.

A legend.

Ha!

Lost cause here.

I know I don’t have the brain for it, to make a career off my one real love. So I guess I should try to cash in on my second favorite pastime.

Hahahaha.

As if!

I barely have enough alone time to date, let alone fuck. And how in the hell would I ever get paid for that?

Is there a market for bald, middle aged, dad-bod dudes in sex work?

Haha

Like, where would I even send the application? Should I call up some of the women from my past and ask them if they’re willing to be my professional references? Lol

No, it’s not in the cards. I’m a regular dude. Not gonna make a living off writing, nor am I gonna make a living off banging. So I’ll just keep working shit jobs like everybody else, no shame in the struggle and no shame in NOT being special.

But damn. Wouldn’t it be nice, to be a writer? Maybe if I lived in a different age. Even a couple decades ago. Feel like back in the 80s even mediocre writers could make a real go of it.

Eh. Fuck.

For now I’ll just keep posting my shit on Vocal and trying to support my friends in there, while the rest of the world suckles at the electric teat of AI, social media, and porn.”

Here, Sam was likely referring to vocal.media, a small website which gained notoriety prior to the Collapse, and a legendary status afterwards— for standing as one of the few bastions of defense for human art, against the explosive onslaught of generative AI.

According to second hand accounts, in journals and print outs preserved over decades, they operated as a sort of virtual community center which drew people who were radically counter-cultural in their passion for what seemed to be a dying language in that time: writing.

Unfortunately, none of the literary art posted to Vocal Media survives today, as like so many others, their servers were requisitioned and consequently purged to facilitate the networked expansion of AI data centers. Today it is impossible for us to read any of the works written by Sam or the writer friends he speaks of in his journal.

And despite his stated dreams, nobody has ever unearthed any evidence to suggest that he ever achieved the physical publication of any of his works.

Ah, tragic, isn’t it?

To think that none of Slavering Sam’s poetry or stories survive today?

We have snippets of his writing, found in his journals and in a few emails he sent to associates.

And while this may give us a glimpse into his heart as a creative, we don’t really have any real guess as to the quality of his art.

He implies his writing wasn’t anything special.

But was his self critique accurate? We don’t know.

To think that Slavering Sam held such desperate dreams to make a career for himself as a creative, only for this aspect of his psyche to lay buried by his admittedly glaring legacy as an adult performer.

That in itself is somewhat ironic, considering his implied disdain for smut as an art form. It’s almost funny, in a sad way that someone with such prudish views towards literary art is now remembered for his notably graphic contributions to the field of visual art in adult entertainment.

Ah well, we here at Deep Dive Magazine can really relate to the love of writing. And we are deeply grateful to each of our subscribers for your love of reading!

But as you flip through our pages, can you pause for a moment and actually imagine trying to live in the 2030s?

In the internet era? Where instant gratification and dopamine rushes had numbed most people’s drive to create— as well as their hunger for art created by others?

For artistic folks, that must have been a sad time to be alive!

We are left wondering whether other members of the writing community on Vocal ever achieved careers in writing, we hope they did.

And whether or not their legacies will ever be uncovered, we at Deep Dive are grateful that Vocal Media offered those folks a place to come together around their shared passion.

Even if that sense of a purposed place was short lived and doomed to fall to the rushing current of generative AI, we are glad to know that for a moment, however brief, creative minds were able to find each other.

Maybe there is some small glory in that.

And how lucky we are to live in today’s brighter world, where writing and all the arts are celebrated and embraced and sought after, now that the AI data centers have finally been purged!

Until next month, thanks for reading!

—The Deep Dive Team

Editor’s note:

Our technicians were able to reconstruct the video file of Ben Shapiro performing his rap song!

We’re including that file via compact disc, in case any of our subscribers have the means to view it for themselves!

We apologize for the choppy quality! Digital restorations may seem like magic at times but the process still has its flaws.

We are also including an audio file, for that ancient punk rock anthem we mentioned. Unfortunately we were unable to secure a copy of the original recording by the artist known as Disney, but we found what we can only imagine is a faithful cover by a band called “Iggy and the Stooges” this song is titled “I wanna be your dog”.

While it may sound grating to our modern ears, bear in mind this was considered cutting edge music in the 2030s.