Of Weights and Writing

It is 2am and I have at least four hundred and eighty eight words to go before I can close this laptop and head to bed. Thankfully it's the weekend, which means, I don't have to worry about being groggy at work tomorrow. And, even then it is still a fierce battle between continuing to hack away at these keys, making sure I make the deadline which is 2 hours away and sleep. I'm trying to win this one!

I have hated making New Year's resolutions for a while now. When I do make them, I make little noice about it. I have asked myself questions like, 'why bother?, you have no idea which way the year will go. I have told myself sometimes 'just be steady as a tree and sail whatever the year throws you way' and other well crafted sentences that have helped me cope with uncertainty and a fear of disapointment. And steady I was! I had barely moved a finger and hence the pin on my creative work. If there was a 'Spotify Wrapped' for my Vocal works, or any other workspace of mine for that mater, for the past year, it would be empty. And it had not been for the lack of ideas. I had waited, hoped, complained and waited some more. For the perfect moment, the calmest environment, the holiday or the most inspiring time. And wait, I had. Perfect moments of inspiration had usually happened early mornings in the bathroom while taking the rushed shower to get ready for work, calm moments had been few and far between when intentionality had not been applied and holidays had had their own agenda which had left little room for other pursuits. I hoped that when I found the perfect time, place, I'd be able to write out all the perfect little (and big) ideas i had in the perfect inspiration toolbox. Ending the year without a single published article forced me to do the deep introspection needed for my creative expression and I needed to changed things to see a different result at the end of this year.

While I didn't do much in the writing department, one area I had given attention to consistently had been nutrition and fitness. I had started off the year knowing how bad a shape I was in and understanding that the longer it took to start doing something about it, the worse my overall health got and the more work I'd require to remedy it, if even possible. I had started where I was, forcing myself to make time in the busy schedule I had, getting an assessment and plan through a professional trainer and actually doing the prescribed workout CONSISTENTLY. I didn't look great when I started, but I knew the only way to get to the place I wanted to get to, the weight I wanted and the figure I hope to recover or even uncover, was through! I needed to be okay with entering the gym with other who had been working out for months and even years and looked much better, I needed to be okay with feeling like all eyes were on me or that I was been judged, I needed to be okay with feeling like I had to go home and work out at home until i was fit enough to come to the gym. The gym was made for those very reasons afterall. Seeing the progress, finally, towards the end of the year was all the convincing I needed to keep going at it.

This is what I want to apply to my writing this time around, consistency. I have always had issue with writing just to put something out as I've only wanted to put out authentic pieces that hold depth. Yet, at this time, what I need the most is building that consistency into my writing.

When I told the trainer at the gym that I wanted to lift weights, she was happy to show me and to push me to lift heavy until failure. I had reminded her again that my goal was not to become bulky but instead to tone up and her response had been one I've come to hear quite often since then, 'you cannot become bulky by accident and even if you were trying to, it would take way more that you think to get there. So lift heavy and don't worry about looking like a man. I hadn't believed her completely until much later and now all I do is go heavy until failure. I believe that this applies to my writing too. Whatever it is I have likened bulking to in terms of my writing has been one of the many things that have stood in my way and I'm willing to take a chance on myself, to do the heavy lift of participating in challenges, win or not, of writing my books and articles CONSISTENTLY! Of shaping up, and becoming a much better writer than I was yesterday and of not feeling crappy about my writing or lack of at the end of 2024.

Goals for Vocal for 2024?

I took the first little (or big) step today by signing up for Vocal+ and joining my first ever challenge. I hope that you will join me on this journey, perhaps with the weights you have to push through as well.

And now it is half past three and I made it in time for submission with almost a thousand words and I'm already looking forward to working on and putting up the next piece. I wish you all a great writing AND READING year!

(Consider supporting my writing with a coffee (tip) or pledging a recurring amount. THANK YOU!)

#200 Challenge