Martyrdom Rejection

Have you ever been psychologically abused? Distorted truths and half-lies weaponized around one devastating truth, then built out with lies? Conditional traps presented as negotiation with a bait and switch, accuse and blame where you’re indicted regardless of your answer, perpetually framed as lying so someone can control a narrative and present herself as a faultless victim who has suffered all because of you, regardless of her own choices? What if it’s intentional and cruel, designed to hit you where you’re already hurt? Maybe the next blow will be fatal.

That’s what my body says when my daughter sends me a message. My blood pressure spikes, my heart races, and my body goes into fight or flight. My daughter is a mean drunk, much like my father was—emotionally terrorizing me is a game where points are scored by destabilizing me and making me feel like I’m on trial for my life, that the nightmare won’t end. All to control a false narrative, all attempts to control not only my actions, but my thoughts and emotions and my relationships. I’ve had to cut ties—all she does is hurt me with vicious attacks on my identity. It seems that my daughter’s goal is to destroy me, as if that would make her feel better.