Maraschinos

I’ve been debating what to get my daughter’s ex-stepmother for Mother’s Day. I sent roses for Valentine’s Day, an empty box for Christmas, and blew a dog whistle for Thanksgiving. I let Groundhog Day slide. I know she saw her shadow.

So what should I get her? I considered taking my daughter’s cat, who hates all other animals and pees on clothes (on purpose)and linens to her, leaving the feral beast on her doorstep, but the price of gas, plus possible repercussions for cruelty to animals. So that’s out.

I thought about how she cherry-picked the emails she forwarded to my daughter to support the false narrative she spun, and it came to me. I will send her a jar of maraschinos and some guitar picks. I hope she asks some mutual friends what it means. They'll know, even if she doesn’t.

Perhaps I’ll enclose a copy of the Missouri Compromise and the Kansas-Nebraska Act as well. No Gettysburg Address yet—I can hear the echoes of the shots fired in Charleston Harbor, and blood still flows in Antietam.