In a Pickle?

The post below has, of this writing, 23.9 thousand views.

Amazingly; no one dinged me for typing 'Nit' instead of 'Not'. That is a small thing to be thankful for, but I'll take it, especially as most of the comments questioned my sanity, my cooking, and my birthplace.

All of that aside, when you drop a personal opinion in public as an imperative, you just bring those things on yourself, don't you? I kind of expected something, but I did not expect all of what I received.

I especially didn't expect a lesson in improv writing... which is what this article is about.

First: an aside for those of you, like me, that had never heard of Salad cubes. I took them to mean some type of dried salad toppings, likely linked to the current food pantry preparation movement.
That is not correct.

Although there may be other companies that produce them, most references to salad cubes refer to those made by the Mt Olive pickle company. They are available in both sweet and sour versions, and are, to my simplistic view, a larger diced relish product.

I do not put home-diced pickles in my potato salad, and would not add purchased diced or cubed pickles in my potato salad. I DO add a splash of pickle juice or a dash of balsamic vinegar as needed, but that is neither here nor there.
While we are talking Mt Olive: I must admire a company that paints the facade of their building to match the distinctive turmeric-hued green of their pickles. That is true dedication to branding.

Improv Writing

After posting a three-sentence opinion, I went to sleep. Upon waking I was stunned to see notifications of comments that scrolled on and on. During that first review before I got my glasses on and my coffee sipped- no one agreed with me. No one.

As per usual- I was not daunted only encouraged to 'sit there in my wrongness' as one commentor suggested. I did indeed sit there and ahem relished the interaction. I enjoyed the absurdity of the thing and jumped into responding to the commentors in what I hoped to make clear was an accepting- if inflexible for my personal cooking - way.

As the days went on several things happened:

1. There is a widespread belief that Caucasians (aka white or 'yt' people) put raisins in almost anything. That would include, evidently, potato salad. Not only was this news to me, but I can think of few things that I would dislike more in potato salad than raisins. (I might even add {gulp} salad cubes if I had to pick a slightly higher level of aversion to which I would agree.)
   
   In responding to those comments I revealed my personal belief by referring to raisins as 'grape-mummies', with adjectives like 'shriveled', 'wonky', squishy', and nasty and vowing to never add them to potato salad. Never have/never will.
   Commentors were surprised, and several people stated that they though yt people put raisins in everything. If so I appear to be the exception to that rule. (Raisins are why I watch people eat spotted cookies before I try them, just in case the 'chocolate chip' is actually a raisin.)

2. I was told I would not be invited to the cookout. Not just once. Not even twice. So far the running total is five total disinvites, one you-can-come-but-you-bring-the-drinks, and one you-can-come-but-you-can' t-bring-food.
   Most often this accompanied a comment about adding raisins and/or not adding spices (see #3 below).
   
   I am an older white woman, to be sure, but I am not that old/out of touch that I didn't understand the comment. And, frankly, given my tone I wouldn't have invited me, either. Crabby old white woman that thinks she knows best? YUP- not invited.
   Here's the thing, though: two women told me I would be invited to their cookout. Oh; they did NOT approve of the potato salad, but both said they approved of the way I was taking the comments. Maybe there is hope for me yet?
   
   Please know that this is not a plea to 'be invited'. No one can ask for something to be given to them, or to try to guilt/wheedle/earn/coerce anyone to giving admittance to a cultural space or acceptance.
   
   The true kindness of one woman, an older-than-me woman from Georgia that asked me where I was from moved me to tears.
   When I answered that I was from Pittsburgh PA and now lived in Michigan, she said:
   Maybe potato salad is not a staple there so you probably just never learned to eat it the correct way.
   It's like cooking cornbread without both flour and cornmeal or never having eaten gumbo and believing potatoes go into the pot.
   It's not your fault 😊
   
   Totally unearned blessings and graciousness, I am grateful for her and told her so.

3. People were not surprised that a little-melanated woman omits things with flavor. The most clever comment I received was
   I’d like to see your ‘Joyless Cooking’ cookbook please.
   
   I respect that comment and the thought that went into it. I answered with a Moira Rose gif that indicated appreciation for their cleverness.
   The thing is that I do indeed use spices; albeit I don't agree with my husband that there is 'no such thing as too much garlic'.
   
   I spice things up with abandon, even if another commentor did find fault with my profile photo of our first asparagus crop tossed in boiling water for 90 seconds. It was odd to see something from several months ago posted as proof of the lack of tastebuds, but is it my fault that I didn't include the cracked pepper and melted butter that went with it? Fresh asparagus- that first crop- needs nothing more IMO.

4. There are four main groups of potato salad, based on the many many comments this post received:
   - the one that includes pickles/relish/ salad cubes
   - warm German potato salad that has a dressing with bacon and vinegar (I love this kind)
   - Japanese potato salad that includes shredded/cooked vegetables stirred into mashed potatoes
   - pickleless/relish-lacking kind, like the one I make
   

I have answered about 90% of the comments with Improv Writing. I tried to use the 'Yes, and...' Improv method and match the spirit and seriousness of each commentor. Sometimes I thanked them, sometimes I used gifs, sometimes I apologized.

Putting an abrupt opinion online as an assertion isn't always my style, but I will likely do it again. I suggest it for you, too, in order to create a brain-clearing opportunity to engage with an audience that might be new to you.

Just be prepared. This is one of my last exchanges, and I still feel it in fingers cramped from scrolling and typing:

pascaleosito 07/21/26

I really hope you're kidding.

judeykalchik 07/21/26 ·Author

After the last 24 hours I kinda wish I was

I did not create the idea of Improv Writing, much to my chagrin. I went skulking through the interwebs to see if anyone else had done so, and: YUP, so they had. Here are some useful resources to learn more.