How to Get Out of Your Head as a Mother of Three

Writing has been my hobby and ally for a long time. The written word has strength and can literally change lives. Words do good and they have the power to build and create worlds, like Lego pieces build up a castle. I’ve written in hardcopy journals and online blogs. At some point in time, it stopped. The urge to write was lost among books to read and piles of little clothes to wash.

Becoming a mother, I have lost my inner voice. For a long time, there was no space for my own thoughts. It was as if everything else occupied my mind completely like fog trapping every single inner idea that was about to emerge. Instead of ideas, worries of all sorts came to my mind, for which I was not prepared. I was also unprepared for the change motherhood meant to my inner self. Writing turned into escaping, through reading — craving the worlds created by others, in order to avoid my fears.

There was a time, before kids, when I could write without being disturbed, in silence or with music. That feeling was of peace of mind. That was a time before adulthood. I laugh now. There is no peace of mind anymore, literally. Nevertheless, I do feel peaceful in a new strange, present way. I have changed in the past years and it feels as if the words want to come back, from the depths of my soul, to express and conquer new worlds. I am aware of who I became, and I am present. I can choose what and how I want to be from now on.

Writing now means something different than before having kids. I am a mother of three under seven. It has been a beautiful and exciting journey. Since our youngest started talking, chatterboxes times 3 are always present — summer holidays are on now. They are also always hungry. Surprisingly, my urge to write became suddenly really strong. I have uncovered the authentic me, emerging through the crazy wild mess of every day. Writing now means raging thoughts, needing to get out of my head into a structured piece.

My thoughts are not always structured. Therefore, I have decided to start writing and get better at it, despite the constant interruptions from my kids. My writings will include thoughts and processes from my studies and future projects. I will also tell you more about my undergoing career change from customer service manager to full stack developer.

My motto is to keep it simple and clear. The stories will emerge, will push to get out of my head just like my raging thoughts.

Welcome to my world! I hope to connect with many writers and readers, through constructive discussions.

I leave you with one of my favorite quotes, which illustrates motherhood in its pure form and includes everything I feel and hope for as a mother of three. I hope you like it and I hope you will enjoy my stories.

“But there's a story behind everything. How a picture got on a wall. How a scar got on your face. Sometimes the stories are simple, and sometimes they are hard and heartbreaking. But behind all your stories is always your mother's story, because hers is where yours begin.”

― Mitch Albom, For One More Day

***I originally published this story on Medium.***

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