Honesty, Routines, And Trust

Gregory Stock’s The Book of Questions prompt — In a nice restaurant, after getting a check for an excellent meal, you notice that you weren't charged for one of the items you ate. Would you tell the waitress?

Yes, I would tell a waitress she missed something on my check. No problem. I tell people close to me that I work an honesty program. This falls into that program. If I can't afford a restaurant, I don't go there, and that's easy to do, as my husband's favorite food place is the Dairy Queen!

Gregory Stock’s The Book of Questions prompt — Do you establish routines in your life? For example do you usually sleep in the same place in your bed? Eat meals at the same time? Regularly return to the same vacation spot?

I blame this on my husband, as he has his place in our bed. And I don't eat many meals with my husband, as he is on an intermittent fasting program, where he eats breakfast anywhere from 10-12 noon, and then dinner before 6 p.m. My meals are at various times. The good news is he cooks for himself when we don't eat together.

Gregory Stock’s The Book of Questions prompt — Can you be counted on to do what you say you'll do? What does it take for you to trust someone?

Yes. I did grow up without being able to trust what someone would say. My mother would teach honesty, for example, but tell me to say she wasn't home when someone would call she didn't want to talk to. Or she would say I could go with her to visit family and then leave me home to watch my younger siblings.

I did the same thing until I got into recovery. Now I work at only promising things that I can follow through with. Only saying what I mean and the truth. I expect the same. When I don't get it, then I don't trust that the individual will tell me the truth, and that means I can't trust them.

I have learned that even though my husband teases by stretching the truth or making up stories, he tells the truth when it counts. I will tell others I have to check my calendar or check with my husband and I will get back to them.