Groom

I got married, but I didn't want to.

My partner and I had been together almost fifteen years by the time we got married. We'd have been happy to continue on forever unmarried, except that we decided to move to Japan for two years.

I had a working Visa, because I was employed via the JET Program. This meant that my partner would have to come along on a Spouse Visa. Unfortunately, Japan doesn't recognise de-facto relationships for Spouse Visas, so we went to the Registry Office and signed the papers.

The whole thing was incredibly uncomfortable for me. The idea that women want an elaborate wedding, or at the very least the chance to buy a new dress, is so deeply ingrained in our society. I told barely anyone that we were getting married. I didn't want to have to explain over and over again that we weren't having a wedding, that it wasn't a special day for us. It was literally a piece of paperwork that had to be completed out of necessity in order for us to be able to get to Japan.

If we could have done it with even less fuss than we already weren't making, I would have. I resented having to tell two people so that they could be out witnesses. I resent the stupid things the celebrant made us say. He made us enter the room together and walk between chairs that were laid out, essentially 'walk down the aisle'.

I never wanted a wedding day in the first place. Now I look back on my 'wedding day' and cringe.