Fear

Everyone is afraid of something, anything.

It could be a fear of heights, fear of deep water, fear of small spaces.

Fear can become anything- any feeling that whispers of threat, danger, or harm.

As for example- every fear connects with fear of death. Sometimes it seems comforting- in moments of existential dread and moments of a person mentally giving up.

Take me for example- standing on the edge of the bridge, questioning my existence and clearly waiting for my body to set my soul free of the unknown.

Sometimes fear can give new life opportunities, some we thought that never were possible.

You can’t change your destiny if you limit your life with fear, can you?

If you’re not willing to risk it, what’s the reason for life at all?

Once I was scared too.

But now?

What’s the point of fear if I don’t care anymore?

I don’t get it. I don’t get anything anymore.

Everything is a mess.

Everything is falling apart.

I don’t have it under control.

Once it all was making sense. Once..

When did it all go so wrong?

I want him to be by my side. Tell me what to do, tell me how am I supposed to live, tell me how am I supposed to live without him.

Sirens surrounding me, the only thing on my mind- how my life got so messed up?

We were supposed to figure this out. We had a lot of things planned.

There’s beauty in everything, even in loss. Because if you lose someone, you don't lose them forever. If you search hard enough, you find what you’re looking for.

My favourite feature of myself is that I find beauty in people. In their words, in their actions.

I find it beautiful that people are able to reach what they’ve been dreaming for. They prove that actions do more than just words.

There’s something beautiful about people who keep fighting, at least try.

I’ve always been drawn to truth.

I find it beautiful that people can believe in each other and be each other's want and will to live.

Peoples' names are beautiful. Each of them have a meaning and add on to people’s character.

I adore selflessness, honesty and bravery.

I find eyes very beautiful and unique.

The most beauty I found in him. He held more of it than anyone could handle.

As rain drops on my skin and washes away my sorrows while tears blur my vision I feel my hands slowly slip from the railing.

I’m ready.

I want to be free, I want to escape.

No, I need to escape.

I want to be and am meant to be reunited with him.

I also find beauty in rain, as it embraces me into its arms.

I find beauty in the wind, as it twirls me around and makes me feel like I could fly and be free.

I find it beautiful to have a clear mind.

I do have a fear of deep water. And I do have a fear of heights.

But if it provides me one more moment with him. One more moment of not caring about the mess and unknown. One more moment of real happiness. One moment of escaping reality.

I’m ready to risk it all.