Etched Memories

All this time / You’ve been lying to me / lying to me / and the feeling was too bad

I told her the truth from the start, I’m not a good one. That staying close to me will bring her misfortune. She stayed with me even after knowing I could never be the ideal one. Life with me is about smoke, weeds, booze, and all things that are under fcktime category. I don’t want to cause damage to her so I’d rather restrain myself from pulling her in. To the best that I can, bring out my worst so that she can go where the best is.

Will we exist, or will it just be a dream?

You don’t know how crazy my thoughts are.

I wish I could live in different bodies, in different timelines — my call.

as a man and a woman, both young and old

So I could love her as many times as I want to

So I could give her love in all its ways

choose her over everything; again and again

Make all the memories that we can.

But then I know I can’t — I know I shouldn’t.

All of us have one life, but she deserves so much more than one can offer.

I don’t want to be the one, I’m the worst, but I’m not selfish in that sense;

I want her to feel everything,

I’m selfish — that kind.

How I wish? / I wish I had never saw you at all

If I only knew that / I would only fall for you

I know it’s too late / I’m already lost in you / so please tell me

How could I blame you? / How could I forget you?

She hates me. She will never forgive me. I’m not an ass to ask for it anyway. I don’t want to be forgiven, I want her to save herself from people like me.

I tell you, one needs not a knife to stab oneself to death. All it takes is a moment.

It’s not easy / falling

we all know how it goes, fcked up world with fcked up people fcking each other. There are quite a few who fcks with care; their God has a plan.

I don’t know about mine.

I wish I never let you in but it’s too late /

I wish I never fell for you

I know I’m not for you / I know I’m not for you

I don’t want to be the one, I’m not selfish, but

I’ll make her save herself from people like me, whatever the cost,

I’m selfish — that kind.