Death And Dying, Songs I Sing, And A Trip Into The Future

The Book of Questions Prompts, by Gregory Stock, Ph.D. - Someone very close to you is in pain, paralyzed, and will die within a month. He begs you to give him poison so that he can die. Would you? What if it were your father?

In 2010, I was with my sister for one week as she lay dying and was on hospice care. I could not give her medication that was called comfort care as that meant she would not be able to talk to us, she would be sleeping at all times, and she was not so slowly being poisoned.

That took one week and despite the medication she almost jumped out of bed to go to the bathroom in the middle of that week. That was the only time as she was not eating or drinking. We had hope but were told that is fairly common.

At another instance, as my brother, a fundamental Christian was praying, she shook her head. She had gone to Midewiwin as a spiritual belief and was no longer Christian and was showing that on her death bed. Showing me that she was still alert to what was going on.

With my sister, I could not give her the medication. Her daughter did.

As a teenager, I worked in a nursing home, and I went to work on two occasions when the bed in their room looked like the bed above. It was the saddest thing as I had learned what happened and had seen the gradual fading of life and then comfort care.

A part of my job was to pass medication. I remember thinking that I was glad their death didn't happen on my shift. The saddest part was there was no family there at the end.

The Book of Questions Prompts, by Gregory Stock, Ph.D. - Should it be illegal to help a terminally ill person to die? If someone is not dying but has chronic pain? Should the person be allowed to commit suicide? What if the person is emotional rather than physical pain?

When my mother was dying we had only a one-day notice. Then they kept her alive until the family could get there. She was a hostess until the end. Welcoming and giving comfort to all who came or called.

She had me go to the store while she lay there dying and buy groceries for those traveling from a distance. My mother was in a nursing home for rehab as she had a break in her neck due to a fall.

That morning I was called to the hospital and a group of doctors told her and me that she was going to die. They said they could give her something for pain and they could keep her alive until the family got to the hospital. She made that choice. She told the doctors that she wasn't in pain.

It appeared the doctors didn't believe her, but I had been giving her reiki since getting to the hospital, and she was always so receptive to reiki. I believed her.

The room was full of family and she talked and prayed on the phone with three family that couldn't be there. Pain medication was given and she napped for a short time. I didn't approve that as I wanted her alert for as much time as possible. Someone else in the family approved that.

Once all the family was there that could be, they told us they were taking her off of her medication and she would die. We all stayed in the room and watched her die. She had told the doctors and me that she was okay with dying and that her daughter, meaning me would have the most difficult time. She was right.

She was not interested in suicide by medication or by another administering medication. She had pain when I arrived at the hospital. I do not believe in suicide for physical or emotional pain as I have witnessed the ripple effects of suicide.

I was asked to provide training with a co-trainer in May on suicide, to suicide prevention workers.

The Book of Questions Prompts, by Gregory Stock, Ph.D. - What did you last sing to yourself? To someone else?

Oh, Denise is so smart and John is a fart! It went along with my nonsense rhyming the last week of February. It was right after he sang a little ditty to me that I won't repeat.

The happy birthday song was sung to my daughter in February, my husband on March first, and my three daughters-in-law most recently.

The Book of Questions Prompts, by Gregory Stock, Ph.D. - You have the power to go any distance into the future and, after one year, return to the present with any knowledge you have gained from your experience but with no physical objects. Would you make the journey if it carried a 50% risk of death?

I would not want to go. Not because of the risk of death. Death can and does happen every day for people not expecting death. I ride a motorcycle and I know that adds more chance of death to me than others. We live in the woods and see more deer than we saw in the city, which adds more risk.

I would not want to know who died when going into the future. That is difficult enough at my age. There would be nothing to bring back. I want to live in this day only and that has worked the best for me since my mid-twenties.