Bravery

I'm not a brave person.

I don't do brave things. I don't just mean scary things like skydiving, or epic adventures. I don't do those, but mostly I mean morally.

I know where I stand, but I'm often scared to stand up for what I believe when there are people present who stand in opposition to that.

As an example, I identify as part of the LGBT+ community. I'm not vocal about it, because I know there are people around who have opinions. When you hear a co-worker say "I guess I can identify as a toaster now" in a sarcastic way, it doesn't make it easy to tell them you actually prefer different pronouns.

I'm not brave enough to say what I think for fear of creating conflict. I don't want to be in an uncomfortable situation where I have to defend myself or anyone else, because I know I won't be able to defend them fully. I always fold in the face of more forceful personalities.

I'm not brave about being my true self in many ways, not just when it comes to pronouns.

I tell very few people what I do for hobbies for fear of judgement. I tell them I like to read and go hiking. Which is completely true. But I don't say that I'm an embroidery artist or a writer. I don't even tell them I play video games, because that's a little out of the ordinary for a woman in her 40's.

I wish I was braver.