How to Not Suck as an Uber/Lyft Passenger

I've been a Lyft driver for about four months. Not too long ago, I wrote on article on how to not be a sh*tty Lyft/Uber driver, but now I'd like to pass some advice onto passengers, as well. I'd just like to state off the bat that the vast, VAST majority of my passengers have been fine, if not great. There have been few instances in which I've run into these issues, but I just thought I'd put it out into the universe for you anyway. So read and enjoy!

1. Don't be a rude asshole.

You'd think this would go without saying, but surprisingly, a decent amount of people seem to have no idea that rideshare drivers are people. Yes, that's right, your Uber driver is an actual human being with actual human feelings, and actual bills to pay, and actual pets (and sometimes even human children) to take care of. Crazy, right? Next time you're in a Lyft/Uber, try not being an asshole. "I'm good, thanks," works fine when your driver asks how your day is going. Complete silence? F*ck off.

2. Don't be a creepy assh*le.

You'd think people would be able to grasp this, but wow, do they not sometimes. I know it's so difficult to control yourself when you're within three feet of a person you find attractive, but unless you want 10,000 volts to your neck, I'd leave your driver alone, especially if they are old enough for you to have raised them yourself. You're 55, Jeff. I could easily be your daughter.

3. Don't be a super-creepy, rude assh*le.

It seems simple, right? The formula tends to be: Get in the car. Go to your destination. Exit vehicle. Simple.

Not: Get in the car. Ask your driver if she wants to spend the night at your house. Ask your driver if she wants to spend the night at your house. Ask your driver if she wants to spend the night at your house for the third f*cking time. Go to your destination. Remain in the car after the driver tells you to have a great night. Ask the driver if she wants to make out with you. Pout and not tip when she says no. Exit vehicle. This is a surefire way to get yourself that one star rating, Nick.

4. Maybe tip?

It's not required, but I mean this is a job, so if your driver:

a) Drives 25 minutes for you to go like 4 miles away

b) runs into tolls

c) has to deal with your hammered friends being obnoxious

Then maybe, just maybe, you should throw a buck or two their way. Please.

5. Don't throw up. Don't let your friends throw up.

I don't know how much clearer I can be with this one. You don't want that charge from Lyft/Uber, and we don't wanna clean you or your girl Stacey's vomit out of our cars.

In summation:

Be whatever you want to be (drunk, quiet, whatever) as long as you aren't being an assh*le about it. Don't throw up. Tip.