Worst Tourist Traps In America

Some places really are amazing to visit - but these venues aren't those kinds of places. Experts say that these are the worst tourist traps in the States.

Worst Tourist Traps In America

America is filled with amazing parks, museums, and attractions just begging to be discovered. Some of the world's most beautiful places are here, and the truth is that America has a very thriving tourism industry because of it.

However, not all tourist locations are awesome - rather, there are a few which are downright abysmal. They're called tourist traps, and they are almost always guaranteed to underwhelm those who dare visit them. Most tourist traps ramp themselves up to be fun, but fall just short of "meh."

These, on the other hand, are in a category all their own. These tourist traps are so hilariously awful that they are regularly called the worst tourist traps in America.

Daytona Beach - Daytona Beach, Florida

Yes, we've all seen the cool post cards featuring cars literally driving on the beach. It seems like a great idea, until you actually go there and find a bunch of ugly-ass cars plopped on a way overcrowded beach.

Oh, but it gets worse than that.

If they drive on the wrong dude, you can expect sand to get sprayed in your face at 40 miles per hour. With all the drinking that happens at Daytona, it comes as no surprise to anyone that the occasional accident happens.

When accidents happen, shrapnel gets dropped from cars. This means that walking on the beach without slippers could easily involve cuts requiring a tetanus shot.

Worse still, sand and saltwater BOTH mess up car motors, frames, and suspension gear. Unless you're okay with dealing with rust, you'll skip this attraction.

Bottom line: don't go to Daytona - and if you do, keep your car off the beach!

The World's Largest Ball Of Paint - Alexandria, Indiana

In 2009, Alexandria sewer workers unearthed the largest hairball in the world. And, it was actually backed by the Guinness Book of World Records. They put it on display and people actually came to see it - because people in Indiana clearly don't have anything else to do.

But then, the hairball dissolved and people stopped coming.

In a mad grab to try to get more tourists dropping by, the folks at Alexandria decided to come up with something huge that would attract tourists from around the world. At one point or another, they gave up on coming up with something huge - and settled for having something mediocre.

This mediocre tourist attraction was the world's largest ball of paint. It's larger than a beach ball. Yawn.

Plymouth Rock - Plymouth, Massachusetts

Travel aficionados might already know that this national landmark is regularly called "the most disappointing landmark in America." Though the Pilgrims did land here, there's really nothing impressive about this rock.

This is a very small monument. Literally, it's a rock about three times the width of a sewer plate. And it just sits there. With a plaque next to it.

Most of it has been chipped away over the years, and now you're no longer even allowed to touch the damned stupid thing. If you go there, you'll probably notice that other tourists are equally underwhelmed with it as you are - so you can bond over that disappointment if you want to.


South Of The Border - Hamer, SC

Going down I-95, you can actually see billboards lining the road advertising South of the Border. Great food! Fireworks for sale! Fun rides for the kids! Only 10 miles away! Only 5 miles away! Look at the billboards!

When you actually get to this *ahem* attraction, you will notice three things...

  1. Its mascot is a racist version of a bandido. Pedro, they call him. His name is Pedro. It's supposed to be "intentionally campy," but it comes off as abrasive.
  2. The employees are also referred to as "Pedro." As Wikipedia pointed out, "Today, all South of the Border employees, regardless of race, creed or color are referred to as Pedro."
  3. It's really weird to see a reptile exhibit, a truck stop, a Mexican restaurant, and a motel all in the same lot. Yes, it does have that oddly skeevy, warped vibe of a 50s tourist trap - and yes, you may feel the need to have a bath after visiting this place.

This place is weird in a way that gives you the heebie-jeebies.

Burnside Fountain - Worcester, Massachusetts

Yes, Massachusetts does it again.

This tourist destination is a fountain that was created by Henry Bacon, the same artist who later went on to design the Lincoln Memorial. With a portfolio as good as the Lincoln Memorial, you'd expect something majestic, right?

Well, yes - but this isn't a list of majestic attractions, so you better expect something insanely disappointing.

What you get to witness, if you so choose to drop by here, is a statue that appears to be of a teenager having sex with a turtle. When the plumbing is functional, you get to witness a guy "riding" a turtle, while the turtle pukes up water.

Needless to say, it's easy to see why the statue has earned the nickname of "Turtle Boy," and why it's become the laughingstock of the city. It's impressively bad.

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Skunk Uzeki

Skunk Uzeki is an androgynous pothead and a hard partier.  When they aren't drinking and causing trouble, they're writing articles about the fun times they have. 

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