What Having an Exchange Student Is Really Like

At some point in time, you may have thought about, or considered what it would be like to meet new people from all over the world. It's a pretty specific thought, sure, yet it's still a dream for many people.

For three months, my family (we're Canadian) hosted a teenage girl from Germany who wanted to improve her English, as well as experience life outside of her own country. I found over time that I was getting used to having this stranger living with me. I got so used to it that I barely noticed all the strange things that were going on the entire time.

No experience is the same for everyone when it comes to international exchanges, of course, but I wanted to share some of my own personal findings—I'll also bless this post with pictures from our travels together through Canada when we were desperately trying to show her around as much as possible.

Brutal Honesty

Let's just get this out of the way right now—hosting someone from Germany, similar to other countries in Europe, I assume, will result in a few brutal and uncomfortable conversations.

I was warned in advance that Germans tend to be more upfront and honest about their feelings—much more than myself as a Canadian/North American—so I tried to be a little guarded at first. I realized quickly that this girl wasn't what I was expecting though. She was sweet and kind, and was always excited to do things, and engage with new people. When she settled in comfortably, I was relieved that she hadn't insulted me to my face or anything like that.

What I didn't realize though was that it would come out in a much more entertaining manner.

My favourite story to tell from the experience of having an exchange student unfolded in a car filled with my family members. We were young at the time, and were being driven home by my mother from school. We were talking about our days, and all that until this sweet, soft-spoken German girl got onto the topic of one of her classes. She started describing the class, as well as the teacher, who she was trying to articulate her thoughts about. I assume she was trying to address how he was

A handsome man, I guess.

Except her actual words were, "Well I think he is hot, I guess. But not like-" *dramatic look* "oh fuck me, sort of hot. Right, you know?"

It wasn't exactly the "blunt" nature I was expecting, but it was truly appreciated in the moment of our hysterical laughter, while she continued asking us what was so funny.

Language Barrier

Probably the most obvious issue that all families will face is always the language barrier between them, and their exchange student. I knew going into the experience that it would be very difficult at times to understand each other, while maintaining a comfortable atmosphere for a nervous stranger. Especially at the beginning, it is quite tough, as everyone would probably imagine. Although, at the same time, it tends to bring people together, and develops a much less serious environment. Even when charades are involved in explaining what you are planning to do for the day. That seemed to be a lighthearted and funny icebreaker for us at least.

One of my favourite parts of living with a native German specifically was always the little mistakes that she made when speaking to people in English. You could often catch a little hint of German when she spoke to us or other people, which I found actually pretty endearing in a person. Although I find other languages and cultures fascinating, so maybe that's just me.

The one example that sticks out the most to me was that when she ended some of her sentences, she would suddenly throw in a confused sounding "or?" I never really understood why in the beginning. She would say things to me like "Today is Tuesday, or?" which sometimes sounded almost correct—I definitely could tell what she meant—but it always seemed odd in the context of the conversation. Later (actually a little while after she flew back home), I realized how common of a mistake that is for Germans speaking English. Apparently, the word "oder" ("or" in English) is placed at the end of sentences that are sort of questions. So I realized that what she had asked me would have made sense in her language, and just happened to translate over, "Heute ist Dienstag, oder?"

That's another thing I love about people from all around the world, you learn those little things just from being around them, and learning about a culture that is completely different than your own.

Culture Clash

Honestly, I love the fact that the world is accessible enough to experience all kinds of culture clashing between different people. While it can be difficult to adjust to the habits of another group of people who grew up in an entirely different way than you, it is extremely interesting, and allows you to connect more with the world.

I found that probably the biggest difference between North American and European culture is based around diets. That may not sound very significant, but let me tell you, I have never felt more strange for my eating habits than during the three months of dining with a German.

Obviously our diets are very different. Germans are clearly more interested in the few staples within the realm of food—bread and meat. So walking into a family full of vegetarians wasn't exactly a welcoming feeling I assume. Even the fact that we tend to go grocery shopping maybe once every week or two was a major change for her (apparently they go almost every day? at least that's what I've been told. But I won't judge).

Although I am quite proud of introducing a person who lives in a far away country to the iconic Canadian cuisine including Poutine, and real maple syrup. Mostly Poutine though.

Also, you wouldn't believe how polite a person seems when they are trying to speak a foreign language. I had never heard someone order food in a restaurant so eloquently in my life. Clearly, the urge to be understood is strong.

Privacy

One of my biggest fears before our exchange student arrived was based on the potential lack of privacy. Personally, home is my bubble where I'm able to be my rough looking self with few restrictions on what I say and do. Inviting a stranger into that bubble wasn't exactly a comforting idea, so that brought a lot more stress on as her arrival grew closer.

To my surprise (minus the first couple of awkward weeks) inviting a stranger into your home for even a little while isn't so bad in that regard. I didn't realize at first, but it is fairly easy for someone that you spend almost all your time with to become another member of the family. Getting to know someone in that way isn't as scary as it seems, since there's not much room to be skeptical of someone who you have to care for, and get along with.

Although, I was lucky to get such a great gal. I can't say it will be as easy with anyone who wants to do an exchange. So don't quote me on that. Thanks.

New Language

Of course, the biggest reason for any exchange student to travel somewhere entirely new is to learn the new language. In our case, it was English for ours. While that is pretty cool to be able to help teach someone who is interested in my mother tongue, it is also fun to learn some of theirs as well.

I've always found the German language interesting, so I was very happy to realize I was gaining that native knowledge from the comfort of my own home. It is quite easy to pick up on the authentic way to pronounce words, and speak smoothly when you can learn from just living your life with someone who defaults to it once in a while. When she got tired of putting so much energy into speaking English, that's when I could start learning for myself instead. It was the one of the greatest advantages I found.

That's a major reason to take part in an exchange sort of experience as well, you can gain just as much as they can from the close bond that you develop together. Definitely take advantage of that if you ever get the chance to host someone in this kind of fashion. It's worth it. Trust me sis.

Punctuality

Now this may only be true to my own situation, but I have to add an extra element to these two clashing cultures. Little things like certain aspects of the German etiquette (primarily their emphasis on punctuality) are hard to adapt to. As a Canadian, I realized from this experience how casual we can be. It isn't really a big deal when we aren't on time for things, or show up at the wrong time entirely.

I will admit that I have been several hours late for things just because of lack of necessity. It's not good, I realize that now.

I definitely have a greater appreciation for those kinds of things now that I have witnessed the panic on our student's face when she realized we were later than usual when getting ready for school one morning. What a wild roller coaster that can be.

Anyways

Overall, hosting an exchange student from another country is an unforgettable experience that I hope many people are able to take part in. While it can be difficult at times, I have never regretted it, and still cherish the memories we created.

Plus, now I have another girl across the world that I can call family.