Travel, for me, is about more than how many sights I see

That part of my life has not changed.

Now, I feel guilty for not seeing the sights; many people tell me how lucky I am to live on the road, and sometimes I want to tell them I envy your life in one spot. 

Yet that is life; the grass is always greener. 

The grass is not greener on either side. If you take care of your grass, it will be green. Lately, I have been neglecting my grass.

Yet when I write or film, everyone wants to see what they expect a country to be like, in their eyes. My eyes are different. 

I have spent today talking and trying to get to know the people here. I do not care if I see another ancient ruin; I am done. Now I want to find out why you speak 3 languages, where your family is from, what your culture is, and why. 

We do romanticize the doing of things, yet to me, that is not getting to know a country. Today my sister and I sat at the bar before she left for the airport.

I functioned as a translator for a Mexican man who was trying to order a drink at the bar and did not speak English. He was happy and surprised that I spoke Spanish; I am always surprised, also. Then I met a group from Spain who invited me to their town.

I think a massive part of learning about a culture is speaking their language in their native tongue. I will only understand a country's culture if I speak the language, which will always be a challenge, as I am not a natural with language. 

Yet we see so many bloggers and travelers who show us know what they want to sell us; everyone is selling their idea of romance, their idea of travel. Whether it is true or not. 

In the world of social media, you see me sitting in front of an ancient ruin and assume I am having a blast. I might be, but I might not be.

When my sister arrived, I broke down into tears and started crying. She was like ¨omg, are you ok¨. I said I hate it here, feel out of place, uncomfortable, and do not understand the way of life here. 

It is frustrating, I do not speak the language, and I have to be in a country for a long time to understand. 

However, sitting at the bar, talking to the bartenders, and asking more questions, I am beginning to understand the people more. I have been focused on seeing the sights that I am not enjoying what I enjoy about travel.

My sister laughed at me because I always said how unfriendly I am, and she said, you initiate every conversation and have a million questions for people, and I have none. 

I am curious but shy; I am friendly but shy. I want to pick someone's brain. Helping the man at the bar translate broke the ice for me; it gave me an opening to ask him about where he is from and why he is in Israel, and then the bartenders were curious about us as well. 

Then we learned about their life here in Israel. Yet when there is no common ground, it is hard, especially in a country that has so many different cultures and is a melting pot of sorts.

I want to eat the region's food, and today I started asking where this food is from. Why is it here? Is there a population of this culture? The answers I received were fascinating; I also walk by locals eating and think I want that, different from what the menu has. 

Yet that will come later when I am more open to sharing my story and asking more questions instead of being too caught up in my head and enjoying being curious.

Yet as I sit at coffee shops and people watch, I overhear travelers talking about how many places they visit, and I think I will not go there. I will not go to the dead sea; I will not go to another holy site; I will not go to another museum because that never makes me fall in love with a country.

It is the city buses, buying street food, and talking to locals. I will pet the street cats and watch the sunsets. 

I travel my way, and when my time is up, I will leave, caring whether or not I see one famous tourist sight, but I will speak to the locals and have stories.

At this moment in my travels, I am searching for a home. That is another story for another day.

XOXO

S