The Solo Trip that Died

We all gathered around my brother for his going away party at my house. He had spent the last five years as a wanderlust. He worked and lived in Colorado at a camp, Utah at a ski resort, Alaska working with sled dogs and Montana as a river rafting guide. Along the way he found a beautiful woman to join him. She was a wanderlust too. I was so proud of them. I even went and bought him a cake! After being home for a few months he was leaving the sunny skies of California and jetting off to Portland, Maine to build a life with his dream girl.

Excited for my brother’s new adventure. My mind began to explore the thought of adventure too. I loved traveling in my twenties. I got married and started a family in my early thirties. Nearly a decade later, the thought of going anywhere alone was not a current reality or thought for me anymore. Until now! A brother that was settling down in Maine? Well, he’ll need me to check up on him, won’t he? That is way too far. So I let my mind wander.

I had become inspired one night after watching two marathon movies back to back, Skid Row Marathon and Brittany Runs a Marathon. Skid Row Marathon is about a judge with a heart of gold in Los Angeles who runs marathons with some of the very convicts he had thrown in jail. They meet on Skid Row at five o'clock every morning and just start running as far as they can each day. He pulls strings to get all his runners into marathons around the world. It's an inspiration.

Brittany Runs a Marathon is about hard partying Brittany who decides to turn her life around after her doctor tells her she is unhealthy. I was not that far off from where Brittany was. I had been on the wine train for about a year and gained fifty pounds. I decided, this is great. This is meant to be. I’m running a marathon!

The search for a marathon began. I wondered “Hmm, what’s in Maine?" I Google searched and there it was, Maine Marathon 2020. Eat. Drink. Run. Maybe I can visit my brother.

October 2020, just a few months away. I could feel the breeze on my face. I kept my browser on the marathon website at all times. I felt encouraged watching the drone view of all those marathoners breaking personal boundaries. I could see myself running, feeling liberated! The next day, I called my brother and his dream girl and told them, "I watched two movies last night and I decided to run a marathon in October, in Maine!" Confused, my brother looked up the marathon. He was delighted and so was his dream girl. His dream girl even offered to run it with me! I was elated. I had five months to prepare for it and Jennifer Lopez's 50th birthday abs as my mobile screen saver.

I’m a wife and a mom. But in my mind, this was more of a solo trip. I mean, it’s my brother. Do we really want to take the kids on a flight across the U.S. during a pandemic? I could kind of see my husband on the side lines cheering me on as I crossed the finish line. But, he didn’t seem as enthusiastic about the marathon idea to begin with. I didn’t want my toddler there. And, I could already hear my eight year old complaining.

That dream girl got away. But still, what would we have done if that trip had become a reality? Oh, so many things! The plan was a homemade crab boil upon arrival and a lazy evening. The next morning, a hot cup of coffee and donuts, a recap of the night before, a shower, brunch and breweries (Note: Most breweries and restaurants close at 9pm. So yes, get it in early!)

Portland, Maine is on a beautiful peninsula with lush trees, light houses and so much seafood. A dream for me. This trip would have been about a week long. The best part of a trip is being there just long enough to feel like you actually live there. You know, waking up in that adorable airbnb, cozy mornings and coffee every day, scenic walks on most days and amazing food. I am a low-scale tourist, going with the flow, no hard-pressed plans. Good company, good sleep, good food, good drinks and I'm happy.

I still want to go there. Fresh, buttery lobster rolls and beer, great conversation, the excitement of getting to know someone more. I had imagined laughing and drinking, cozy mornings, delicious food, my marathon, some work, some play. But, no. Alas, that relationship sadly ended. My trip to Maine! I was devastated. I had lost something too! A reason to fly to Maine!

I don’t know about other wives and moms out there, but I wasn’t planning a solo trip anytime soon before this love gone awry. I had to have a reason to go somewhere that far away. And, it couldn't be just for myself, but to go see my brother. So yes, my solo trip had died! Neither my brother or his dream girl ever made it clear to me their reasons for the breakup. It was none of my business. I’ll never know. I love them both. This topic brought me back to my short-lived dreams of Maine, so I thought I’d share. Thanks for reading.