The Hike From Hell That Ended Up Being All Worth It

So let me give you some insight into my life: my idea of taxing physical exertion is having to get up from my couch to walk over to the kitchen, grabbing a bag of chips and walking back over to the couch where I snuggle back into the spot I will call home for the next 1 or 8 hours.

My best friend Nat and her younger sister Sarah, bless their hearts, consider the Ironman Triathlons to be a perfect event for novice runners...

Insight has now been given.

It's a Brief. Walking. Excursion

On a summery Sunday morning, I agreed to accompany the sisters on a "brief walking excursion" as they referred to it but, we're all adults here, let's call it what it is: it's a hike. We're going on a hike.

(In the words of the illusive Tony Soprano: it's not a nursing home, it's a retirement community.)

I ultimately agreed to it because they are a part of the five friends I actively keep up with on a social basis. We all have those five friends. I pick them up at the crack of 10 am and head up to a conservation area about half an hour from Toronto.

When we arrive, we look forward to checking out the following: an apparent waterfall that is an absolute spectacle to see and potentially horse back ride in an area that must be zoned off for riders. As responsible adults do, we quickly scroll through the park's AllTrails entry (neglecting to read anything about it other than "waterfall" and "horse") and begin our hike.

A map was provided at the start of the hike that had a number of coloured trails we could follow. It honestly looked as straight forward to read as the Tokyo subway map... Did I also mention I'm horrendous at geography?

Now there were about 5 or 6 of these trails we could follow with the blue line being the longest trail. We spot a horse icon near the top of the map and we decide "well, I guess we'll follow along the blue until we reach this horse sanctuary. A waterfall icon is on the way so we'll check that out first then ride Seabiscuit and finally head back down to where our car is parked."

You know how every time you make plans, they go splendidly? This is not one of those experiences.

Dr. Mosquito or: How I Learned to Stop Crying and Love the Bite

We began our trek on what felt like the hottest day in the history of meteorology. We had water and a few snacks nestled away in our backpacks in case we needed them and as soon as we started up that trail I was pulling out the nutri-grain bars. We were a determined bunch so for a majority of the hike we walked in a single file line with me striving to be leader to prove to the universe that I can lead in a physical activity!

On our way, we actually found the waterfall many boasted about quite promptly. It was... smaller than I anticipated? Look I don't want to call it "lackluster" but when Dewey from Malcolm In The Middle said he expected nothing and was still let down, I completely understand this sentiment. It's fine though. The water was nice, it was a pleasant find for the start of our journey and I'm sure everything after this will be good, great, grand.

If you're familiar with the summer season, you know that mosquitoes simply do not care where you are, who you are and/or what you're doing. Oh it's your wedding day? I hope you enjoy a nice, ripe bite right on the tip of your nose that you will scratch incessantly for the rest of your Big Day. Oh... You're trying to get a pleasant night's rest? I'm going to go ahead and buzz around loudly & sporadically so that it isn't so much white noise that can lull you to sleep but instead it's a hindrance that will guarantee a restless night.

If you're also familiar with filmmaker Alfred Hitchcock and the 1963 Tippi Hedren-led graphic thriller The Birds, you'd remember a certain scene where the titular terrors swarm a class of school children for doing what children do - exist. When I say I know in the core of my being how horrified those children felt, I am not exaggerating.

From the moment we started up the path, these little flying, blood-sucking insects were EVERYWHERE. If you would've told me these mosquitoes had a group chat with the Birds and the flying monkeys from The Wizard of Oz I would've told you to report that group to the authorities ASAP. The combination of the various shrubbery we were fighting past, the numerous little puddles puddling about and beaming fireball in the sky was a perfect mix for these legitimate weapons of mass destruction.

Fun fact: mosquito repellent can double as mosquito desirable.

We were bitten in every crevasse of every corner of our entire body. They hung out in my hair, they crawled up my shirt, they somehow got in my socks, the pools of sweat that beaded down my back and stomach must have been the go-to spot because they seemingly all congregated over there. Thankfully we not only had to deal with being drained of our precious life force, we had other friends of Mother Nature's looking to come out to play as well.

Remember those puddling puddles I previously mentioned? Frogs. They hop around. A lot.

There were moments where on either side of us there were these small bodies of water and as we hiked, frogs would jump from one side of the water to the other. You know what genuinely freaks me out? Surprise frog attacks. Is it the most terrifying experience one can experience? Not at all. For me? It was my Pennywise. These horses better be worth this.

B.Y.O.H

We all had the notion in the back of our collective minds that this horse area will be a checkpoint in our journey. When you reach a certain checkpoint in the video game world, you can save your game and take a breather/washroom break.

"Absolutely, these mosquitoes and frogs are a bit of an annoyance... But think of the horsies! Just how much fun they will be." We repeated this mantra to ourselves.

What seemed to be about an eternity into the hike, Sarah uttered something that continues to haunt me to this day:

"You know what, guys? What if we're walking all this way to reach an area that is like a trail where people can just bring one of their horses?"

... Nat and I completely lost it.

We laughed and laughed and spit out the few stray mosquitoes that made their way into the back of our throats then continued to laugh for a bit more. The running joke of the day became:

"You mean like... B.Y.O.H? ... Bring Your Own HORSE?! WHAT A CONCEPT!"

In the immortal words of the late, great David Bowie: "And these children that you spit on as they try to change their worlds. Are immune to your consultations. They're quite aware of what they're goin' through."

We finally arrived at the horse icon on our map (there was no visible signage anywhere) and made our way a bit past it... And a bit more... Finding no large field with horses gallivanting around. We walk a bit more until we surpass it entirely and it was at this moment where Sarah takes out her phone to look up the AllTrails of the area.

Now I'm paraphrasing here because the moment it occurred has remained a bit of a blur in my memory but she recited the following from the website to us:

"... You can experience this gorgeous trek... when you bring along... your own horse--"

And reader, that's as much as my memory can and will un-repress.

"This Was So Worth It"

So the waterfall was Nature's equivalent to someone cry-signing "Wonderwall" at karaoke and the horse riding was a bust. Our water was at an all-time low and all the snacks were finished. I repeat: all the snacks were finished. We figured it was time to lug our sweaty, starving, decrepit selves back to the car.

When we were making our way back down, we noticed a larger body of water referred to as a "Falls Reservoir" on the map that was more or less near where we were headed. On a whim, we decided to check it out and it's easily one of the smartest decisions we'll ever probably make.

We made our way past a small stream and bundle of rocks to arrive at an unbelievably gorgeous and secluded scene. It was one of those instances where the sky's sublime reflection off the water makes you forget for the splitest of seconds which way is up.

The above picture was taken using my iPhone 6S. It is originally a panoramic shot I took of the sisters and I adjusted the color saturation and contrast of it to 0.43 and -0.58 respectively.

I took another photo of what you initially see when you walk into the scene using my iPhone with no filters:

After taking in the scenery in complete silence for a moment or two, we all looked at each other and agreed:

"Okay... This was so worth it."

We took so many pictures near and around that reservoir - group shots, selfies, pictures of the rocks, the water, trying to capture the undeniable elation we felt being there. For the duration of the time we spent hanging out there, the hunger we felt and the tiredness that plagued us throughout the journey seemingly withered away. It was as if it was Nature's way of telling us "you know what... You're alright."

I also have no idea how but there were no mosquitoes. Like anywhere. I'm frankly unsure whether this was a fever dream and the pictures I took will show up as empty vessels to others viewing them.

We now have a newfound appreciation for any future hikes we go on (life update: I don't mind hikes now) as anytime one of us begins to complain about a minuscule detail, we say "okay but do you want me to bring out the mosquitoes and frogs? Because I will."

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Submitted for the Mobile Moments Challenge.