The 4 Stages of Traveling Solo

Stage 1:

All right, I’m gonna try this. I’m gonna do it and it’s going to be okay. Just think of how good it will be for me as a person! And travel is travel—it’s bound to be a great time! Plus I’ve packed basically anything I could need, so I’ll be just fine.

Oh my god, oh my god, oh my god. I’m in a different country by myself, I have no idea what these people are saying, nobody speaks English HELP ME!!!!

No-no-no-no. Calm down. CALM. It’s going to be fine. I’ve planned everything out so there’s no way anything could possibly go wr—

OH SHIT I HAVE NO IDEA WHERE I AM!!! I’M LOST!!! I’M LOST!!! OH MY GOD WHAT AM I GOING TO DO NOW?!!!!

Jesus Christ, okay. It’s fine, I’m fine. We’re back on track. See? You’re totally capable of doing this on your own. You’re a strong independent who don’t need no—

Uhhh, how the heck does this work?? No? Okay, I’m gonna need to ask for help. Excuse me?

Oh god f***ing shit I can’t understand him. I thought I knew a little of this language but I’m totally clueless. And now I have no idea how I’m going to get there. I think I’m going to cry…

What can I do? Oh jeez, I think I’d better call mum. Maybe she’ll have some advice…

No way, have you gone bonkers?!!! You’re a freaking adult, get it together!!! Find some internet or something and google instructions!!

“How to Use the Ticket Machine in ….”

Okay, I’m still alive. STILL. ALIVE.

Oh Goooood why did I do this to myself….this isn’t fun at all…

I made it to the hotel! Finally! Good job me—

F***ing fantastic, you wasted literally 5 hours today trying to find the right way to get there and asking people for help who actually had no idea how to help you so you ended up wasting more time talking to them and trying to translate then if you’d done it yourself in the first place.

AND your oh-so-flawless plan that you spent weeks getting right has been a total waste. You didn’t make it to any of the places you wanted to see today! Now you’ll have to cut something out too….

Who cares about that! I’m alive dammit! And I’m here, in the right place! There’s still a couple hours before sundown, time to hit the town and go exploring!! We can’t waste any more time, how about it??

F*** this I’m going to sleep.

Stage 2:

Okay. Let’s try again. We’ve done this once before and it was scary, but we made it all right, we survived! And aren’t you proud of yourself for that?? We can’t be relying on others for our trips all the time and you know everyone has different schedules so it’s much more sensible if you’re able to go alone. Be reasonable, I’m sure it won’t be so bad the second time around.

Yeah. See? This isn’t so terrible after all. You were a bit more prepared this time and actually printed every single map you could need. Perfect organisation! There’s no way you can get lost now.

Gosh, these maps sure are a pain. Why the heck did I print so many of ‘em?!! What was I thinking, I must be totally psycho-paranoid!

I’m wasting time each time I just have to search for a map, there’s so many. Ughhh. Oh well, at least I’m not lost.

See? You reached the destination this time! Awesome work! Now we have more time to explore.

Yasssss. It’s working. I think I’m kinda doing it! Look at that, I ticked off all three places we wanted to see today! Tomorrow should be just as great!

I’m pretty exhausted though. Maybe I need to lessen my sightseeing lists a little bit.

Hey, it looks like it might rain today. But that’s okay because I packed 5 sets of spare clothes and I can keep 'em nice and dry in my locker at the accommodation. AND I have that great raincoat! Awesome.

Just like I thought, rain! But I’m still warm enough in this and my spare clothes will be dry when I get back!

Okay, first sightseeing spot of the day, tick! Gosh, that local sure was weird. Is it even normal to talk to travellers? What if he was a pervert…

Time to get to the next spot. Oh nooo…no f***ing way. My maps!!! The rain soaked through my bag?! But I thought my usual bag for work would be fine for travel too... and here I was thinking I was all prepared! What a waste of printing!

Now I’m back to square one… English, anybody??

Stage 3:

Internet! That’ll do it. All I have to do is get an overseas phone and make sure I have access to the internet ALL the time. Then I’ll NEVER get lost.

Oh great. Who would’ve thought getting a phone in this country was so damn complicated. And expensive! Ah well, what’s done is done. If there’s one thing I’ve learnt, it’s that there’s no point worrying about the past!

Hmm, you know, I’ve had a lot of locals talk to me now. Maybe it’s not that weird to talk to strangers after all. In fact, if they are perverts then well, they’re the most interesting perverts I’ve ever met!

Maybe I should start talking to strangers too, not just other travellers. And locals seem to have a lot of useful information.

But what if I look like a creep?

Ah, heck, don’t be stupid. I’m just here to have a good time and chill a little bit.

Yeah, chilling doesn’t sound too bad you know. I cut down my list of sightseeing spots this time just in case I DO get lost. And so I don’t have to run around like a headless chicken. It’s kinda nicer when I can spend a bit more time enjoying my surroundings and don’t have to collapse into bed every night.

Ah, bed. Even this springy mattress at the backpackers feels like home after a long day of travel.

Damn, that was a good day. I got lost a couple of times but that’s not bad. Actually, don’t you think it was hilarious how that guy tried to guide me to the right place, but it was on the other end of town? I lost 2 hours cos of that guy. Hahaha! Those stories he told were too great though, it was worth it.

Stage 4:

F*** YEAH I’M GOIN’ SOLO AGAIN BABY!!! Freeeeeeeedom!!! I can’t wait to just do whatever I want and not worry about other people around me getting bored or anxious about losing the way. I mean who cares, really? Getting lost is basically guaranteed to happen at some point. Anyway, it’s actually pretty fun if it gives you a chance to talk to locals or see different spots.

All right, this backpack should just about do it. I’ve got two and a half sets of clothes for the month ahead but we’ll just use coin laundry!

Damn it was hot today. My clothes totally smell of BO. But what an awesome day! I am so ready to just chill with some travellers at the hostel for the rest of the evening.

Maybe I should do some laundry. Nahhh, you deserve a break! Who wants to do laundry when they’re travelling?

Hey, it’s another hot day this morning. I may as well wear my sweaty clothes, my clean ones would just get smelly anyway. And it’s not like any of my friends or family are around to smell me so who cares.

Oh hey! Some local's come up for a chat. He wants to go get a drink together? Well sure, why not! I’d love to hear more about what it’s like to live in this place.

Wow, what an interesting story! And so funny how different that kind of culture is. I’ve got to ask more! Hey sir, how about I shout you lunch? This conversation is great!

Okay, plan for the rest of the day?

HA! Good one! PLAN! LMAOOOOO what a joke!

Who needs a plan when it never works out anyway? I’ll just ask this guy what he recommends, then go check that out. Then maybe wander around town for a bit and hopefully lose my way so I can stumble upon something cool. Then I guess I’ll head back to the hostel for a quick nap and check the wifi for popular places nearby. Better than having to keep it all in my head.

No way, that went way too fast. Are you telling me my flight is tomorrow already? I could travel like this forever. Ah well, until next time! And there will be a next time… hopefully a lot of next times… maybe I’ll sell one of my kidneys to raise funds.

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