No Judgment No Past

A barn owl. I’ve seen it many times. It’s was here, it was there. One time it was on a parry peer. Sometimes it was on the roof of the building. In other times it was sitting on the wand.

I’m not aware it was the same barn owl. It was naturally looking toy or bird like figure with twisted head. Some other days it disappeared from it’s own place. One time it was headless.

Insides contained the emptiness. Or sand.

I do not expect somebody will notice. Not even to mention it. I don’t expect any judgment, I don’t expect anything from past, I don’t expect any attachment.

I don’t attached to judgment, I don’t attached to past, I don’t attached to expectations.

I don’t judge my past, I don’t expect my past come back, I don’t attached to my past.

I don’t have any judgment from the past, I don’t have any expectations from the past, I don’t have any attachments from the past.

I hear howling.

One time...

Two times..

Three.

How much time passed in between. It’s night, it’s full moon, it’s forest, it’s mountains, it’s nature. It’s barn owl.

Should be, I can’t see but I hear. The distance is close to my dream. It woke me up. I hear the quite.

Nothing more. All of sudden.

The boat tied down to riverside pier. Owl sit. It’s a sign. A mark. It’s not a part of nature it was created to be noticed. Certain purpose to fulfill.

“What is it?” - I’m asking.

“..Aah. It’s a barn owl” - Jacob answered.

Of course he knew, he usually comes on this pier every week. Not only here though. Locals certainly familiar with it.

It’s no point to ask. I know the answer already. At least I’m confident of existence in material world, it’s not hallucination. Cause and effect, equal.

Why not to express how I feel. The fear of rejection. The fear of conviction.

It’s no fear when it’s no judgment. It’s no suffering when it’s no fear. Like this owl is projection of subjective perception. When I asked Jacob, in same way I invited him to play this game of awareness. Someone invited me when I noticed it too. In that very moment; when eyes glimpse on surface. You are invited. Let the children play. They don’t need any constructive background to do so. In the very beginning it is only important how you see it. All about interpretation. Listen to your heart. How long it will take you to get home. What else you need to sacrifice exept of ignorance. Numbers on the wall contain hidden meaning.

“..Aah. It’s a barn owl” - Jacob answered.

I wish to take a picture of it. But it is nothing on the picture.

“Stay still statue I will take a shot.”

Don’t move your head in opposite direction please.”

I smell gas. Boat is old and rusty. No advantage was taken because you still have your red jet ski behind. Freshwater seaweed catching so easily.

The feathers are not real. The only real you can find by yourself. Write something with it if you can.

Brush sliding on paper creating blue sparkles. We don’t know how to have a good time at all.. Observe from distant point from out of your mind. You will see the patterns in chaos, you will hear melody in silence. You will find your owl, you will solve your own mysteries.

Good old quite sacral river. Bird is passing by the tops of the forest. Air vibrations with every swing. The sound of aspiration. How long it will take to take on.

“You will put this figures in the certain places” - Jacob said.

“What else?”

“Leave it right here” - Jacob submitted.

“Don’t get distracted by appearance. Consider it as totems, or borderlines if you wish”

“What borderlines?”

“The borderlines of our community, own society.” - Jacob tried to make it clear - “You see, you don’t realize the purpose of this symbol at all.”

“I don’t need another history lesson. Thank you.”

“Well” - Jacob pulled out the bird’s head and started to pour sand inside. The voids began to fill.

Jacob catched companion’s eye.

“This is for stability. To get the bird grounded.”

“Birds shouldn’t be grounded”

“Don’t expect anything from anyone. You can imagine only what you already experienced. You can’t predict the future by your past. That’s why future is unpredictable” - Jacob finished.

“Sure”

“You see, how long it will take? How long this thing will stay here. How many people will notice it. From all the different places. Just think about it.”

“I have no idea”

“That’s right. You don’t have any idea yet. It’s good. You will not remember this soon. Anyway.”

I look right in the yellow painted artificial owl’s eyes.

Now I realize all the parts of these owls were widely separated. It’s like looking for easter eggs. But instead of eggs we are looking for birds.

“Wooohooo”

One time.

“Woohoo”

Second.

Interference with my dream. Affecting my consciousness. This bird is somewhere outside of my tent, but my tent is inside of the forest. The forest is inside the nature. I’m inside of the nature.

This late night one sided dialogue. I was listener, the bird was a speaker. Monologue of the messenger. It was a blessing. Existence speaks in a different ways thru different things.

It is hope, it’s love, it’s freedom.

It’s inventation. To step out, to move forward, to run fast, to breath deep.

To accept who you are. You’re loved, you’re cared, you’re liberated. No more night screams. No more dream talks. No more disturbance. No more suffering.

Everything you need you already have.

Within your soul. It’s the owl.

Thank you for the reading.

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