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My Escape From Marriage to Mountain Views

He wouldn't sign the divorce papers, so I fled Atlanta in secret and started over in the Desert Southwest.

By Alexis ChateauPublished 3 years ago 3 min read
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When most married women think of their honeymoons, their eyes light up with memories of young love. What I remember brings no smile to my face. My husband, feeling secure that he now had the puss in the bag, lay in bed, and shared all the lies he remembered telling throughout our relationship. Now that we were married, he said, he could trust me with the truth. He then told me he loved me, rolled over, cuddled the dog, and slept like a baby.

I remember lying next to him and coming to the horrific realization that the man I had married was not the man lying next to me. As the months and years followed, more lies surfaced and so did troubling behaviors. He began to throw tantrums when I didn’t do as he said and would have violent outbursts if he tried to touch me and I rejected his advances.

One night, that escalated into an incident that left me forever changed. I put him out the following morning, but for all my best efforts, the legal ties remain. So, in the middle of a pandemic, I bought an RV and drove 2,000-plus miles across the country, in secret, to begin my life anew.

Exploring New Horizons

This fresh start didn’t begin in 2021. It began in September of 2020, when I spent the first night in my RV, in Arkansas — 600 miles from home. My fresh start began with anchoring the RV during 60 MPH winds that blew through the Nevada mountains. It started with listening to the pounding of hail against the RV in Kingman, Arizona.

But, like all new years, 2021 has brought something else to the table. I feel something has changed within me, though, I’m not quite sure what it is. I suppose there is one change in mindset that illustrates it best.

In the summer of 2020, I told my therapist that if I could just go back and meet the 25-year-old who had decided to marry my husband, I would bash her head in with a bat. Now, I look back at 25-year-old me with empathy and understanding.

What are glaring red flags to me at 31 were mere curiosities at 25. I know better now — better than I’d like to know.

Coming Full Circle

I suppose the greatest irony of my 30s is that, in half a decade, I have come full circle. I began my 20s with excitement to see and experience all that the world had to offer. I wanted to live everywhere and nowhere in particular. Attaching myself to a man had felt like a terrifying prospect that would drop an anchor and take the winds from my sails.

Yet, I had allowed myself to be guilt-tripped into a relationship I never wanted and to become so attached that I willingly marched down the aisle. I put my biggest dreams on hold for a husband who promised me we would travel the world together, but who didn’t even have a passport. A man who pretended to be vegetarian, but gobbled down bacon in his mother’s kitchen.

It had all been pretend. I had fallen for lies and potential and had no true value to show for that investment, in the end. My husband likes to tell people he broke my heart, but what he injured was my pride.

“We’re all hypocrites,” he would say, whenever I caught him in a new lie.

Pushing Forward

In time, I accepted that marriage was not forever and the path I wanted to follow would leave only one set of footprints in the sand. So, I resumed my exploring alone and plotted my escape. I’ve now been to 30 states and my cat has accompanied me to 10.

Samson, my FJ Cruiser, has taken me to more places than my husband ever has. And, unlike him, Samson is reliable and has a true thirst for adventure. After our explorations, I have woken up to lakes, in the summer; snow-capped mountains, in the winter; and the howl of coyotes, under a full moon.

I might not have gotten the precise fresh start I had hoped for in 2021. Yet, I am finally having the adventure I started, before I let a liar and pretender interrupt my progress. I suppose it’s as my parents say: everyone gets a starter marriage. But, what I want more than anything is for that marriage to end.

If you’d like to help me stay hidden in the desert a while longer, I certainly won’t say no to a tip!

female travel
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About the Creator

Alexis Chateau

I like cats, camping and FJ Cruisers. Follow my adventures at www.alexischateau.com.

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