Looking Back: My Naivety

March 5, 2020:

Paola, Calabria

I woke up this morning with such a happy and satisfied feeling. I don't remember exactly what my dream was about, but I know that I was flirting with my handsome fiance and making some food. I woke up before my alarm went off and because of the light slipping in through the slats of my window shades, I could tell it was a beautiful day outside.

After checking my phone for any news about the current situation with the Corona Virus, I slowly slid out of bed and walked over to open up my bedroom window. My engagement ring sparkled in the Calabrian sunshine that was sweeping over me and my plaid pajamas. The only thing that wasn't so ideal about this morning was the pain in my stomach-- I'm pretty sure I have a gluten intolerance but I'm choosing to ignore that... sort of.

Yesterday was a really wonderful day with Maria Rosa and Gennaro. I was brought to their house where they taught me how to finish making homemade limoncello and they also taught me how to make homemade pizza! These are two things that I really wanted to learn how to make while in Italy. While the dough was rising, we went on a little road trip to Guardia which is a small hillside town. The views from up there were absolutely stunning and it was a shame to see so many abandoned houses.

Gennaro made a really good point: that the Italian government should allow immigrants to stay in houses in towns like this, rather then let these houses crumble from disuse. So many people would be glad to have a home in a hillside town in Italy and it's an absolute shame to see pretty towns like this become forgotten. We stumbled upon a small local shop where some women were weaving wool and ginestra scarves. We chatted with them to learn about the process and found out that 2 of the women there spoke English. One lady offers guided trekking tours which is something I would be interested in doing with Chris.

We then went for some gelato at one of the only establishments in Calabria that is open 24 hours a day. We then made out way back to find the pizza dough beautifully risen! Maria Rosa taught me how to spread the dough and we made two different kinds: potato and rosemary and tomato with oregano. All the while we were finishing up the pizzas, we were listening for news about the school closings and then finally the official news came out: all schools in Italy will be closed until March 15... It's a precaution to stop the spread of the virus, but it still feels so strange. We had a really nice dinner with Maria Rosa's brother and his wife. The pizzas turned out so well, as did the limoncello! I really am so grateful to have these people in my life and I do truly feel at home with them. I look forward to Chris meeting them in the future.

So after reminiscing about yesterday and still dealing with my gluten pains today, I put some laundry into my tiny washer and let it do its job. In the meantime, I started cutting up some fresh, organic arance dolce gifted to me by Gennaro and Maria Rosa. In their little orchard, they have three sweet orange plants, but apparently Gennaro is the only one who really likes the deliciously sweet fruit and so after learning that I am obsessed with them, he always gives me a large bag of them when he collects them.

So I squeezed about half the oranges and happily sipped on the fresh juice. They also gave me a big jar of garbanzo beans so today I made some rice and mashed it up with the beans and truffle olive oil and some spices to make veggie patties. It was my first time making homemade burgers, so I really hope they turn out well. I made patties of varying sizes and put them in the freezer for future meals when I need something quick. It's so easy to make them and it definitely creates a lot less waste (no plastic packaging) so I could see this becoming a thing that I continue to do.

I then stepped outside to bring my laundry out to dry in the brilliant sun. The sunshine bathed my black leggings and my back with warmth as I organized the wet towels and shirts in an orderly fashion. My cats Piccolina (I recently found out she's a girl) and Squeegee waddled around my feet. I brought out some fresh filtered water for them and went back inside to grab my camera.

There is a gorgeous blossoming tree outside my apartment. I take photos of it everyday and it looks even more stunning through the lens of my nice camera that Chris gifted to me for my birthday a few years ago. Now as I'm writing this, I can hear church bells in the distance and I'm struck with a feeling of melancholy: I really don't want to leave here yet.

Things are really up in the air right now with the panic surrounding the Corona Virus. Fulbright has given all of us grantees the option to go back to the States... and if things get worse, they might force us to go back home. Our group chat is full of stress and confusion as we try to navigate this situation. I feel really bad for the Fulbright Commission because I know this is a totally unexpected and difficult situation.

So far, there are only a few cases in Calabria reported, but if things gets worse, I might have to seriously consider going back to America. While it would be amazing to see Chris, Garbanzo, my parents, my brother, my family, and my friends...

I just don't think I'm ready to go back yet.

I really want to finish my experience here. I've made some really great memories and just recently I had this overwhelming feeling of being satisfied with my experience thus far so at least if I did leave, I would leave feeling satisfied but at the same time, I want to be here in the spring, see all the flowers blooming, see Squeegee's kittens that will probably be born sometime in the next month, I want to learn how to make grispelle and jam, I want to see more of Calabria and Italy, I want to have more time with my friends here and work on my Italian skills some more.

I'm just viewing the time that I do have here as bonus time and I really want to take advantage of it. I guess when you're faced with an inevitable ending, you're forced to appreciate things more. Ugh, I'm also really sad that my cousin Ellie and her boyfriend Eric won't be able to make their trip here anymore... they were supposed to arrive on Saturday, but with all the stuff that's going on, they have decided to cancel their trip. It would have been so nice to have them here and show them my temporary home in Italy, but hopefully there will be another chance to be here with them in the future. Just so many things going on right now and the situation is changing so rapidly.

I really am looking forward to things hopefully calming down and getting back to normal.

Baci