France

Ever fly into Paris alone? A little strange you might say? Yes, well, that’s exactly what I did. I flew into Paris on my way back home from a tour of East Europe, on purpose. Paris was not my final destination — it was just a stop along the way. I guess you can say I’m a bit of a rebel. I didn’t go with anyone, and I didn’t expect to meet up with anyone. But, I wanted to cruise around Paris, and see what happens. It was a sort of mission. How dare me, em I right?

The cheap flight on a Ryanair was about the only thing I regret. I remember climbing the air-stairs and catching sight of what looked like duct tape on the tail assembly of the plane. It wasn’t very reassuring, that’s for sure; but nonetheless I landed at Beauvais airport safely. I even thought I was saving a cool hundred bucks on this cheaper flight. But, in actuality, I went on to spend the money I had saved on the subsequent bus ride from Beauvais into Paris. It was a LONG bus ride, to be sure; and it was especially hot inside the bus. And if that doesn’t put you off then what follows might convince you to choose another airport.

You best believe that once you board that bus you won’t be getting off until you reach the city centre. There’s plenty of traffic along the way, and there're no washroom breaks. What’s more, my arrival in Paris just happened to occur during the taxi strike of 2015. So here I was, in great need of a toilet; but I was also roasting inside the carriage and dying to get off. And when we finally disembarked somewhere in the heart of Paris, it was a war zone! The Police were literally throwing gas canisters (and firing rubber bullets), at a mob of protesting taxi drivers — many of whom, just happened to be running directly towards me. And yes, I walked super-fast from the station pulling my gigantic suitcase behind me — I wasn’t expecting Paris to have a meltdown when I arrived. Yet, I was somehow sure I’d still be able to flag a cab down to take me to my hotel….Wrong.

So I had to walk (briskly), whilst towing my luggage behind me for at least another hour before reaching my hotel. By the time I checked into the hotel, the wheels on my suitcase had split in two and would now wobble uncontrollably — I’m not even joking. But, I considered myself lucky to have at least found a mobile phone store; and I wasted no time swapping out my SIM in order to gain access to the ‘maps’ feature on my phone. I knew that I was walking in the right direction only once I put the hotel address into the destination box; and I can assure the reader that from here the worst of the experience was over.

The Metro is another level of difficulty if you don’t speak a word of French. I managed somehow with a little effort — memorizing the spelling of the stations was a big help. The Metro is also quite prone to vandalism; I can’t say I was all that surprised to see an adolescent spray-painting the wall within a station with some gang sign. For me, it was a bit distasteful. But, Europe seems to be the cream of the crop when it comes to art with aerosol cans. Another big help with the language was an app on my phone that I used to translate French to English. The waitstaff at a restaurant thought it was particularly amusing when I used the app to place an order — if you remember though, this was five years ago. I'm sure much has changed now.

Of course, you can explore Paris for days; or even weeks-on-end. But there are a number of places of historical significance and I’ll list a few of these no-brainers for first-time travellers: the Eiffel Tower, the Arc de Triomphe, and Notre Dame. I visited Notre Dame before it caught fire, and I’d like to think that I’ll be back over the pond to see it following reconstruction. But what about Napoleon’s Tomb? Or maybe the Pont des Arts? — These two left a lasting impression. Not to mention, the many cafés and all those signature Haussmann apartment buildings that line the streets and boulevards… they were especially nice to see first-hand. Of course, you can’t forget the Louvre — for you can spend a week there — and it’s quite amazing.

So you might just cruise around Paris on your own and have a jolly good time; but if you’re looking to spark a conversation with someone you happen to overhear speaking English, just have them hold your camera and take a few pictures for you! I’ve used this method quite a few times and it works rather well.