Brooklyn Girl vs. Seattle Life!

Shout out to my best friend Valencia Joseph for giving me the idea for this blog... wait... let me explain a bit. You see, every morning as I go to work I find/bump into things that are very Seattle-like, aka things that you would only see/experience while living in Seattle. When I come across something of this nature, I gladly share it with Valencia via an app on our phones called Marco Polo. What is this Marco Polo app you say? It's a free video chat app that you can use to send video messages to whomever your connected to on there; it's really cool too because as you're recording a video, the person you're sending it to can watch it as you're recording it so it's sort of like FaceTime, but not really. I love it and Valencia does too, as a matter of fact, Valencia prefers it to texting but I could care less either way. The point is that the other day I was sharing one of my many ONLY IN SEATTLE moments with Valencia when she says, "Yo, you need to make a video series called Brooklyn girl in Seattle because you be dealing with some shit that's just... crazy... and the way you describe shit and make comments about shit, people would be literally on the floor cracking up over that shit! You definitely would get a lot of people watching!"

I thought about it... I mean really thought about it... what did I come up with? THIS BLOG OF COURSE... and the thought of recording a whole week of my morning commutes to see how many actual funny moments I catch and decide from there. I mean, I got to have quality funnies in order to share them right?! Exactly what I said. For now, blog on!

As a true New Yorker aka Brooklyn chick, when it comes to a lot of Seattle ways and traditions, I stick to my New York rules; meaning that I'm not courteous, kind, or considerate of other people's feelings when it comes to certain things. If it looks like fuck shit foolery, acts like fuck shit foolery, and smells like fuck shit foolery then I will call it & cuss it out; it's that simple. I will not hold my tongue, I will not be passive and when I'm done you'll know not to fuck with me if you ever see me.

EXAMPLE#1: In Seattle it's preferred that when you're waiting at a bus stop to form a line to get on the bus. I hate this concept, even in New York; the few places that follow this silly idea, I would do what I wanted to do because as far as I'm concerned it doesn't matter whether you get on a line or not to get on the bus, what matters is if you pay or not! I currently live around the corner from a park and ride aka major bus stop so in the morning, everyone is on a line waiting for a bus. One particular morning though, a woman was standing at the beginning of the line I was getting on so I ended up being second in line. When the bus came, it pulled up in front of me... so what did I do? I GOT ON THE MOTHERFUCKING BUS! Meanwhile, the woman who was at the beginning of the line was like "Really?" I turned around and was like "What? Was I supposed to wait for you like you needed a special invitation? Get the fuck out of here lady, we are on the bus! What difference does it make?!" Call me an opportunist or an asshole... the fucks will not be given for your cause!

EXAMPLE#2: I was at a supermarket with my kids and for whatever reason, my youngest started crying and getting louder by the minute. As a parent, I really hate this especially when there's nothing wrong, that tear parade only calls on others to watch and judge. I bent down to look at my youngest in the face while I told her to be quiet in a stern way. As I rose up, I saw some woman talking about me, saying that I was abusing my child by yelling at her. Meanwhile, she had two kids herself begging for donations in front of the supermarket. As far as I'm concerned, THAT'S ABUSE! You have kids in front of a supermarket working for no wages... CHILD LABOR... but yet you see me disciplining my child and you have something to say... imagine that! I immediately let her know in the most maliciously verbal way that minding my business was not conducive to her good health. Staying in your lane saves lives people, just saying! As soon as she heard my verbiage, the look on her face said "Damn, maybe I shouldn't have said anything?" SOUNDS ABOUT RIGHT SALLY!

Anyway, I'm mulling over the idea! In the mean time though, checkout Kai Storm Books on my site & if you like my blogs send me a gift donation as low as $1!