Awaken the Mind

When I had began my veterinary classes during the Fall semester, I devoted myself to waking up at 8AM sharp. I vowed to take my smorgasbord of daily vitamins, do a little stretch and force something in my stomach, because eating in the morning has never been a simple task. And though I would dissociate for what seemed like five minutes on a one-hour time scale, I'd finally come to, blink my dry eyes, sip my slightly cold coffee and start my morning meditation.

Of course, that all stopped once the holidays hit, the music was played, and the drinks were had.

For me, habits are hard to keep. They die the moment I look the other way. I'm usually a "go with the flow" type of person so sticking to a strict schedule is not my cup of tea, or coffee for that matter. But my determination to do well in college and someday save and nurture all the sick, abandoned animals over powered my unorganized style. Thus, leaving me to find that loop hole, and that loop hole is meditation, where I was able to go with the flow, and be mindful enough to stick to my schedule.

I've used meditation for several years now, but this is the first time I've actually committed to meditating every morning; and let me tell you, it feels amazing, mentally and physically. Especially for someone who struggles with severe anxieties and depression. Social anxiety is the most crippling and has set me far back in life, and to be honest, I am beyond tired of it controlling every aspect of my life. Meditation has helped tremendously in easing the intrusive thoughts, the never-ending "what ifs", and has helped me just be in the moment, and be me. But of course like with most things, it takes practice and fidelity, and taking a month break from it has led me to the same perturbation I know all too well. But alas, the new year has begun and so has my second term of veterinary school, thus getting me back into my routine of pure focus.

Meditation is the practice of mindfulness that originated from the roots of Buddhist cultures but has since been seen stretched all across the world, from culture to culture, from person to person. It has been scientifically proven to improve productivity, lower blood pressure, boost immune systems and as I mentioned, relieve depression and anxiety. Along with all that, it assists in training your mind to enhance creativity and awareness of your own thoughts, and best of all, it aids in holding no judgement for ones self, or others. So with all these benefits, who wouldn't want to try this natural remedy.

Every morning I wake up full of angst, regret, and these awful feelings of doubt. Doubt in myself, doubt in the world, doubt in everything. It is amazing how quickly that diminishes with a quick 10 minute breathing sesh. Most of the time, if my mind is going hay wire, thoughts and feelings flying every direction, I like to do the guided meditations which are easily found on YouTube. Endless varieties are available, and they are easy to follow and help settle my thoughts. But if I am already content, which is rare, I'll just simply listen to some soothing Binaural beats, or sit in silence for a couple minutes to tone down my mind before beginning my day.

But meditation isn't only for mornings, or to simply soothe the negative thoughts away. Meditation can be used in a vast variety of methods. When I first started meditation, I was about eighteen years old; my best friend had just passed away so as you can imagine, I was going through a pretty rough time. I also lived on farm isolated from the world, no one to talk to, except the forest that was my backyard. I was going for a walk one day alone with my thoughts, bare feet on the mossy ground and I sat on my favorite root stump of a large tree I liked to call "Mother Tree". She was tall, mystical and inviting. I sat there often because even on rainy days, she shielded me from the elements, she was my friend within all the chaos.

So as I sat on that stump, I closed my eyes for what felt like the first time in months - with depression comes many ailments - and I inhaled deeply, and exhaled slowly. Repeat. Repeat. Repeat. Until I felt my mind enter this weird realm. An "am I high?" realm. An extraterrestrial realm deep within my own subconscious where I could see and feel colors.. happiness. The visions I felt and seen were unexplainable even to this day, but I felt at peace. And when I opened my eyes, oddly enough, some time had passed and the sun was going down; my mind was at ease for the first time in years. The world wasn't so dark anymore.