Are People in Tbilisi Rude? My Experience Living in Georgia as a Foreigner

I had received a lot of information regarding the hospitality in Georgia before I went there; it is one of the things the country is known for in this regard: generous hosts, tables filled beyond capacity with food, an unlimited supply of wine, and the belief that a guest should be treated almost like a member of the family.

Although I had been living in Tbilisi for four years, my experience of everyday life became a great deal more complicated.

I spent most of my time in Vake, but also lived in and took trips to other areas of the city. Since my wife is Georgian, I wasn't seeing the country completely from the outside as well.

Yet one thing still managed to surprise me: Tbilisi often seemed remarkably unfriendly.

I am not saying that everybody was rude or that I was always in arguments with people; it was something more subtle than that.

It resulted from a series of little daily interactions.

The Queue Jumping

One of the first observations I made was that people appeared to be quite ready to join the queues.

You might be quite clearly in a queue at a supermarket, a pharmacy or at a counter when somebody just goes ahead of you. In some cases, they seemed completely to lack the concept of queuing.

People do cut in queues all over the place, but in Tbilisi, it occurred so frequently that I began to expect it.

What disturbed me was not simply the act in itself but the total absence of embarrassment regarding it.

There's no apology, no "I'm sorry, were you waiting?" and sometimes no eye contact at all.

I was still finding it irritating after four years.

People Stare — A Lot

There was another aspect which took some getting used to, namely the staring.

In Tbilisi, people are quite at ease in staring openly.

At times, I used to look back, hoping that the person would smile, nod or at least look away uncomfortably. Instead, they made no reaction.

It could be curiosity; perhaps it's simply that foreigners stand out, and I am certain that staring doesn't have exactly the same social meaning in all places.

However, when you take into account the serious expressions which you see throughout the city, Tbilisi may end up having a rather cold atmosphere.

Saying Hello and Getting No Response

I also took the trouble to use simple Georgian.

Even the simple act of saying gamarjoba—hello—could cause only a surprisingly small reaction.

Certainly, there were many ordinary and friendly exchanges, particularly with young people, but on numerous occasions when I greeted somebody I got very little, if any, in return.

No hello.

No smile.

At times, I received no more than a bare acknowledgment that I had spoken.

I eventually came to the conclusion that it is not at all culturally automatic in Tbilisi to casually greet strangers as it is in some other countries.

I could understand that.

Yet, in my opinion, when people say hello to you directly, answering appears to be rather a simple act of courtesy.

The Missing “Thank You”

The same occurred in the case of smaller gestures.

If you hold a door open for somebody, they may just walk through.

I'm not thanking you. I'm not giving a nod. I'm not acknowledging it.

No single one of these instances is of any special significance. No one ought to receive an award for holding a door open.

However, the atmosphere of a city is formed by thousands of such small interactions.

The atmosphere that I frequently noticed in Tbilisi was such that people appeared to be surprisingly indifferent towards strangers.

Maybe the notion of 'basic manners' that I have is due to coming from a different culture. Manners aren't universal.

However, even when I allowed for the fact that there are cultural differences, I still discovered that everyday public life was less polite than I had anticipated.

Why Does Everyone Look So Unhappy?

Tbilisi is also full of people who take things seriously.

People usually seem to be annoyed even if they aren't.

I didn't mind it so much after a while since it by no means occurs only in Georgia; serious expressions are common all over much of Eastern Europe and the former Soviet world.

In certain cultures, constantly smiling at strangers may in fact appear to be pointless or some might say 'fake.'

I came to the realization of not taking every frown as a sign of hostility.

The problem wasn't really just facial expressions.

The difference exists between failing to smile and entirely ignoring someone.

This was especially obvious when it came to customer service.

Customer Service Was My Biggest Frustration

The customer service in Tbilisi was most likely the aspect that I had the hardest time understanding.

I never managed to work out how many occasions I had gone into a shop, a restaurant or some other business and had the feeling that my being there was a disturbance.

What I kept on experiencing was staff checking their phones while I was waiting.

They knew that I was there.

I was aware that they knew I was there.

Yet whatever was going on over the phone appeared to be of greater importance.

The atmosphere in the restaurant could be similar in this regard. It sometimes seemed as if you were interrupting someone rather than just being a customer.

I thought that in our case there is far less stress laid on customer-service training than in those countries where employees are taught to immediately acknowledge customers, make eye contact and simply say "I'll be with you in a moment."

I have no need for false smiles or people checking in with me every two minutes to see if everything is okay.

But to simply recognize the situation makes a great deal of difference.

What became of Georgian hospitality?

The contradiction that interested me most was this.

My wife is of Georgian origin, and in fact she has remarked that she feels the well-known Georgian hospitality has declined.

She doesn't know completely why.

Maybe it is precisely because hospitality and everyday friendliness are in fact two distinct things.

It is typical for traditional Georgian hospitality to involve acting as a host.

When someone invites you to their house you might be shown a great deal of generosity: food keeps on coming and drinks are continually served. You are regarded as a significant guest.

I have as much experience with that side of Georgia.

It is one thing to be a guest in someone's house and quite another to be a stranger standing behind them at the supermarket checkout.

That could be the solution to understanding the apparent contradiction.

In personal situations, Georgians can be extremely hospitable but appear rather cold in anonymous public ones.

Tbilisi Is Not All of Georgia

It is equally important to distinguish Tbilisi from Georgia as a whole.

Capital cities tend to be less friendly.

People are busy, the traffic is stressful, life is expensive and everyone is trying to get to somewhere.

The difference between walking around Vake or standing in a crowded supermarket and being welcomed into someone's home in a Georgian village is obvious.

I should never draw the conclusion that Georgians are rude based on my experience of everyday life in Tbilisi.

That would be overly simple.

I don't think that foreigners should feel afraid about describing their own experiences.

Are People in Tbilisi Rude?

After four years, I should say: sometimes, yes.

At least on the basis of the politeness standards I was brought up with.

The fact that people would queue jump, stare, ignore the greetings, show no thanks, and have indifferent customer service occurred so frequently that I could not just regard it as bad luck.

I also came across a great number of kind and generous people.

The lesson that Tbilisi gave me is that hospitality doesn't have to be the same as friendliness.

A person can be very welcoming to someone who has been invited to their house even though they show very little interest in being friendly to strangers in public.

It helped me to understand Georgia much better.

I went to Tbilisi hoping to experience the famous Georgian hospitality which I had heard so much about.

I found that it actually exists.

Not always in the place you'd expect to find it.