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A Walk with Solitude

Can you Think about Nothing

By apun bhagwanPublished 4 years ago 5 min read
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A view from my terrace

" If you think about it, thinking about nothing is also thinking about something so now don't think about it. "

- Mohit Soni

Whenever I am sad or anxious about my tomorrow because of the daily disputes between my mom and dad or brawls between my father and his brother regarding the division of the property, I tend to avoid them by taking a detour of my terrace. If you think about it, Life is nothing but a detour instead of dying directly, we find something which we think is more meaningful way of dealing with the inevitable.

I live in a hilly region near Gujarat and my terrace is a Hill from where I can see most of the city. With the canyon on the other side, view is transcendental but sometimes transcendental is not enough to drive away the echoes of harsh comments of the family. And at that moment all I want to " Think about, is Nothing " but I guess that is the only thing that humanity is unable to find in their so called " Busy Daily lives ".

One such rainy day I decided to take a stroll to the top of the hill and also not to think about anything. There is a Temple/Shrine on near top of the hill, approx 1 Km from my house. And as I mostly prefer to stay away from the house of rising disagreement so I decided to walk to the temple. Because who would like to face the problem if they can take a detour of the abstractness. Being an atheist and walking towards the temple was not the most brilliant idea I had, but sometimes eccentricity finds a way to the abode of spurious minds.

While I was ascending the hill I saw two monkeys, one was eating louse from other one's back. Seeing those monkeys eating louse over each others body I couldn't help, but think about my dad and uncle who couldn't even stand each others presence rather eating from the same plate. Then I questioned myself, Is incarnation of human being a boon or a curse? because I found more happiness in seeing those monkeys rather then my own dad or uncle, even though they were gross. By gross I referred to the monkeys.

But then I thought of my decision of not thinking about anything and how was I distracted by looking at the monkeys so I closed my eyes and started ascending, which was again not the most brilliant idea I had, which I learnt after the second time I tripped because of the unevenness of the road. After repeating "don't think" twice I opened my eyes and found that I passed the temple when I guess, I tripped the first time. On my right side I found a tree among many, where an old woman was meditating by taking support of the tree's trunk.

So I went to her and asked if she needed help in case she was lost. To which she replied " Lost, from what? ". I said " Why do all old people quotes things like they know deeper aspects of life? I offered help because I thought it was raining and there is not much oxygen for both of us at this height". She humbly replied "Why don't you sit beside and tell me what's really bothering you?". " I am sitting beside you just because I think you are not a pedo, and curious about why were you meditating (here)" I said sitting adjacent to her.

" I am not meditating, this young tree you see, Is my husband who died 15 years ago, I mixed his ashes with the soil, I come here once a week to feel serenity, nature. " she said with sorrow in her eyes. " Don't you think your family would be worried about you? " I questioned her. " My son abandoned me 3 years ago saying that I am eccentric since then no one cares about me except for my husband therefore I come here in order to feel the nature, feel my husband. Do you want feel my husband?, give me your hand ". saying so she grabbed my hand.

I took my hand back and said " Sorry I don't wanna feel your husband ". " Don't be shy he won't mind, see how I am feeling it, he has grown so much this recent year, don't think about anything just give me your hand." She demanded. So I placed my hands behind by back which accidentally touched the tree's trunk. This startled me so I stood up and said " You are an old eccentric perv and so is your husband." She teetered up by holding the trunk from one hand and said "Please don't say that, he might feel offended, Come close". She stretched the other hand in order to call me.

Seeing this I started to run away from there without thinking of anything, there was not a single thought in my mind, I was just focused on escaping the crazy old woman and her husband's feeling. After reaching my house I realized I wasn't thinking about anything, until then. I can't put this feeling in words about how I felt while I was thinking nothing. And that is where I notice the huge difference between when I am trying to think about nothing and thinking nothing.

This part of my journey, returning to my home is " The walk of Solitude". I know this story doesn't make much sense but neither does this reality in which you or I exists. I can't write something that will give you direction about thinking nothing nor can you read something which can help you about thinking nothing. If you still didn't get the central idea about thinking nothing, you can think of it as a end product of the meditation.

Ending note with a Smart Hack: Try to hold your breathe for as long as you can it might help you to think less until you are holding it, don't try to do it while you are reading this do this in your leisure time.

solo travel
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