5 Reasons Canada is Better

I was at work and we were talking about the latest Trump endeavor (him killing Qassem Suleimani) and how weird it is to live in America right now. Like it's kind of a double edged sword - if your proud to be here most of the world thinks your an idiot and let's be real - it's not the best place in the world to live anymore.

We are becoming the Jerry of the world. THE JERRY.

Anyway, one of my co-workers told me that he was just saving up money and then he was going to drive across the boarder and go to Canada. When I told him it wasn't that simple he laughed and told me it wasn't like they had boarder patrol- it's Canada. This stopped me dead in my tracks because of the stupidity that had just come out of his mouth and I realized that he was in fact a Jerry and belonged here.

Here is why America is not in fact Canada and this man should be ashamed of the way he laughed:

1. First off, him laughing was ridiculous because the USA is actually one of the easiest countries to immigrate to. Not to say that's a bad thing- but in comparison to other world powers, our immigration laws are completely relaxed.

You want to pick up and move to Canada? What's your business in Canada, eh? Seriously, they want you to have a job lined up, an idea of where to live, and basically your entire life planned out. It's like graduating high school with more steps and a better plan than just school. You need money in the bank, you need to be ready for check- ups. Although, I can't talk from experience it does sound like their immigration people are a lot nicer than ours... which - I mean, we're kind of known for being jerks. Which brings me to my next point.

2. Canadians are nicer. They are honestly nicer people. They apologize more which is cool... but it is actually proven that because they apologize more they are happier over all and in turn, nicer people.

Americans are proud people. We're really not good at the admitting were wrong thing. I know because I'm terrible at it. Just kidding. No I'm not. I'm terrible. We're all terrible. Canadians are so sweet. How do they do it? Probably because they're so goddamn healthy.

3. Americans pay more for health care than anyone else in the world. America pays about $10,600 per person per year while Canada pays less than $5,000 per person per year.

If you live in America then you already know that our health care sucks. Paying for this shit is terrible and you've probably gone without health insurance at one point in your life and that's even worse. And now, if you don't pay those medical bills - they effect your credit score. Isn't that wonderful?! The land of freedom, where if you're sick you suffer in all aspects of your life because fuck you, that's why.

Canada's health care system is a source of national pride, and a model of universal health coverage. It provides relatively equitable access to physician and hospital services through 13 provincial and territorial tax-funded public insurance plans. It's publicly funded. But guess what? If you need to go to the hospital, you don't have to cry about how you're going to have to pick up a side job driving uber for a year and a half to pay for it.

4. Speaking of money - let's talk about it. Canada has a higher average practical tax rate of 28% compared to the US of 18%. That sucks right? But the cost of living is significantly cheaper. Looking at it - without doing a WHOLE lot of math - it almost evens out but does it? Does it?

You're spending about $5,000 less a year on health care, you're spending less on clothes, groceries, rent, bills, etc. The tax increased by 10% but let's be real, you're paying taxes no matter what. Unless you're living off the grid in which case, good for you, why are you even considering going back on the grid? Stop reading this article right now.

5. Their television is less censored. They know what real comedy is. They aren't afraid to drop the f-bomb on live TV and they don't care about their kids seeing nipples. Seriously, everyone has them. Why are we trying to hide nipples?

Canada is nicer, more understanding, healthier, and they're more like the bird person of the world. They aren't the Jerry, or even really a HUGE character but they're big enough that they make the show and they make other main characters love them so fucking much.

Don't be a Jerry. Be a Bird Person.