Dear Donald
Dear Donald

Why I Voted for Drumpf and Now Demand Impeachment

by Darrius Dickerson 4 months ago in trump

“Trigger Fingers Turn to Twitter Fingers”—Drake (2015).

Why I Voted for Drumpf and Now Demand Impeachment

“It was the spring of hope; it was the winter of despair”—Dickens, 1859.

As I sit watching this joke of a “First Public Hearing In Impeachment Inquiry,” I can't help but recollect that this is “the greater [evil that I voted for], just to see the hell it bring[s]”—No Malice’s vicious 2017 single “So Woke.”

To quote The Daily Beast’s living legend, Eleanor Clift, “Right-wing sites have been full of chatter about civil war and a coming race war for some time, and Trump's rhetoric is pouring gasoline on an already-lit fire;” October 2, 2019.

Funny enough, the app I'm using to type this piece with on my iPhone 8 is convinced that my last quote is supposed to read “Left-wing sites have...” Just to clarify: I don't much subscribe to the false Left/Right paradigm myself; and find the notion that the so-called two party system has fundamental differences quite comical.

I've come to terms that this 14th blog post could very well cost me a new relationship that I'm perhaps overly fond of; and yet I remain hopeful that this will not be the case and that I won't be added to “The Clinton Body Count” in response.

With that being said, I believe that the hilarious Epstein memes and whatnot will be the beginning of the end for Rodham and company. One can hope and pray at least.

Full disclosure: I only voted for Drumpf in the state primary and not the general election of November 2016. To reference the OG, Nick Cannon’s epic piece from March 20th, 2016, I was “Too Broke To Vote” during both elections, but forced myself on the strength of one of my favorite cousins, “Ckool” Lew.

Prophetically enough, Cannon predicted another controversial upset thanks to the electoral college; and of course, the electronic ballot that I did cast would carry no weight.

Just to bring matters full circle, I will now recount the Tweet in question for those who have been living under a rock: “If the Democrats are successful in removing the President from office (which they will never be), it will cause a Civil War like fracture in this Nation from which our Country will never heal.”

Drumpf was quoting and attributed Pastor Robert Jeffress. It was an egregious and irresponsible statement at best.

I used to joke and say that I was holding out for and/or dating Tiffany Drumpf. Now I realize the prudence of past mentors in that, “All money ain't good money.”

I'm gainfully employed again with a savings far exceeding my recent highs. Relative increased personal prosperity notwithstanding, he's got to go.

I don't know much about Vice President Mike Pence. As a matter of fact, I had to Google his first name just now.

Ostensible ignorance notwithstanding, the second in command needs a promotion. At the very least, we can take respite in the fact that the current VP would not likely ever be “cancelled” by the “Me Too” movement (he doesn't meet alone with women other than his wife).

It would be terribly remiss of us to allow this infraction by the head honcho to go unchallenged. Reprieve is unacceptable.

The fact that this situation is largely going unchecked by the Lame Stream Media (LSM), is quite odious if I may.

There was arguably an immense amount of feigned outrage over Bill Clinton's rompings while in the Oval Office. However, it is my understanding that he faced his impeachment investigation due to his mistruths; rather than the actual infidelity.

Tl;dr—I have never been a “yuge” fan of Twitter; and have pulled my fair share of triggers in my four years as a Grunt, unlike the commander in chief. Still, I didn't want to believe that he is the worst president ever.

Now, though, I'm convinced he'll be our last...

trump
Darrius Dickerson
Darrius Dickerson
Read next: New Mexico—It's like a State, like All the Others!
Darrius Dickerson

I'm a Grunt that’s been stuck in traffic for the past 15+ years, it seems; from DC to Seattle & Iraq, to back in The District. I love my Little Monsters more than life itself. Born Day: 4/20.

See all posts by Darrius Dickerson