When Guns Kills More Than Kinder Eggs

How are the United States of America even considered united? Can anyone explain that to me?

My cousins on my dad’s side lived in Pennsylvania when I was younger, and I remember driving with my parents down from Toronto to visit them every couple years.

Me being of elementary age, I enjoyed the Kinder Egg treat my mom would get me sometimes. I loved the milk chocolate, and even more so the little toy inside. I’d build little villages out of LEGO for the characters I’d get, play out whole worlds. It was probably on one of those visits down to see my cousins, when I found out that I couldn’t bring any Kinder Eggs with me.

Why Ima? Why Aba?

My parents just said that the States did not allow them in their country; that it was illegal. I probably just thought “nananabooboo to my cousins”, and continued on with my life. But as I got older, and I was made much more aware of the gun violence present in the country below me, I would think back to this silly law. Why guns but not Kinder Eggs?

Kinder Egg Surprise

Why are Kinder Eggs illegal in the States?

Well,

The U.S. law against the chocolate egg actually dates back to 1938. At that time, the country’s Food, Drug and Cosmetic Act banned all candies embedded with “non-nutritive objects,” such as toys. So, when Kinder eggs began to be manufactured in the ’70s by Italian company Ferrero, they fell under this law and were made illegal in the U.S. (Huffpost.com)

Furthermore, the FDA believes that the toys in the Kinder Eggs are a choking hazard. Mind you, each egg has a “for ages 3+” sticker on them, which I never truly understood the need for up in choke-less Canada.

Those damn plastic egg containers inside the chocolate were so hard to open too, that I’d be surprised any infant would be successful. Though I never understood the reason for the ugly orangey-flesh colour of the plastic…

Guns

Why are guns legal in the States?

Well, the right to have and bear arms is protected by the Second Amendment in the U.S. constitution, and while it is a federally protected right by the ATF, it is also regulated differently in each State.

Though owning and accessing guns is legal right, there are still protocols that need to be followed in order to purchase one. But don’t worry, it’s still pretty easy due to underfunded background checks. And loopholes. Lots of loopholes. Always loopholes.

But here’s the thing, according to data compiled by the world population review, in 2019 the U.S. was in second for highest gun related deaths.

Higher than Venezuela and Mexico.

And in 2022? As of April there have been 199 mass shootings with 221 deaths in the U.S. according to the Wikipedia compilation.

Obviously the currently protocols in place are not enough. Obviously the “land of the free” is a land of free violence and murder. But hey, let’s ban Kinder Eggs.

Let’s Get Really Down To It Though

Personally, I do not want to own a gun or have one in the house. Ever.

That being said, I’ve lived in the Arctic where hunting rifles are beyond normalized and even needed. Young children are gifted hunting rifles so that they can help harvest seals, belugas, caribou, etc. to feed families. When commercial food prices are triple (or even quadruple) the price in the South, hunting and food sovereignty is a necessity.

How’s is that there is a much lower rate of gun violence then? Well. I think it comes from respect, understanding, and education.

A hunting rifle is a tool for survival and feeding a community- not for hate crimes.

The Inuit way is to take only what you need, and to provide for the community. I’ve had students take school days off to go hunting, and the warming reception they receive when they return to share their catch is a sacred thing.

And they also can eat Kinder Eggs without choking.

You see, guns are not just violence. They don’t have to be, with a better education and understanding of give and take, and stricter responsible regulations, maybe there would be less mass murders. But so far in the U.S., it is too often used as a tool of destruction and hatred. It is long overdue to change that.

So, from a Canadian to the messy country down under, get your shit together. Humanity deserves better.

~

This article was originally published on Medium under my pseudonym Poet In The Arctic.