What Your Favourite Democratic Nominee Says About You

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What Your Favourite Democratic Nominee Says About You

So the first caucuses are almost upon us in the race to decide who the Democrats will pit against number 45 in the Presidential election later this year. In fact, voting in a few states have already opened. Iowa will be first up for the candidates on Monday 3rd February, so not long to go until we find out for definite who our frontrunners in the competition will be. In the meantime, to stop you stewing over poll after poll, let’s take you through who’s still in the race (as many have pulled out way before the first caucus) and what your preferred choice says about you as a person – but not politically speaking.

Joe Biden

For glory hunters and weird uncles everywhere, I present to you Joe Biden. He’s been the frontrunner in the polls since forever, mainly because he has name recognition after being VP under President Barack Obama. If this guy is your favourite, then you’re probably someone who doesn’t like doing much research and prefers to join in with the crowd because the rest of the crowd probably knows something you don’t (but they don’t). No doubt you probably support the New England Patriots or the New York Yankees just because you’ve heard of them and they’re more likely to win.

Bernie Sanders

You’re someone who has an optimistic view on how the world could be run, and you think your view is the best one anyone’s ever had, so you don’t stop telling people. If you find yourself at a party and you’ve been drinking, you’re the one that will be the first to get into the politics chat, starting it even before you’ve realised it yourself. You’re also someone who’s probably looking to get the best value for money for yourself and others around you. It’s fairness, you say. You don’t like places that rip people off, and if you have any friends who are travelling by plane, you always tell them to go to Parking at Airports because they offer great value.

Elizabeth Warren

You’ve probably been around for a while whilst seeing and doing everything. But you’re still full of energy and feel like you have so much more to contribute. However, sometimes you might point your enthusiasm the wrong direction and say the wrong thing. Your way with words, and the enthusiasm with which you speak and hold yourself, is more than enough to win people over. However, you’re an unknown as to how you’ll react in high pressure situations.

Andrew Yang

The sort of person that would apply to the Apprentice, but in a knowingly ironic way, or so you’d think. You’re obsessed with business, you like buying, you like selling, you like making money. So much so that you probably can’t switch off. You have to buy the latest things, to boost the capitalist economy you say, be it gadgets for the kitchen or a big booming UHD 40” OLED TV for the front room.

Pete Buttigieg

You’re the sort of person that has one thing different about you as a person, which you hope gives you a personality. However, you’re a bit of a ‘cool dad’, a bit of a fun sponge. When you see people having fun you want to join in, and when you do you are having the same levels of fun, only because you’ve brought them down to your boring level. You probably also think rolling up the sleeves on a white (or sometimes light blue) button down shirt is a bold fashion statement.

Michael Bloomberg

You’re rich, or at least well off, so you’re used to buying your way into places and into friendships. Over the years you’ve probably accrued a big number of favours, and it feels like you’re at that stage in your life when you’re ready to call them all in at once to do something big. Will it work? Or will it be a big waste of money and resources? Only time will tell, but you’re bold enough to take that risk.

Tom Steyer

Like Bloomberg, but you offer to buy everyone drinks on your night out. You’re more altruistic, but you don’t like being asked what you’ve done in the past to get where you are now. You also like saying hi to people.

Amy Kloubachar/Tulsi Gabbard

Always the bridesmaid, never the bride. Except, that bride has probably been replaced with another groom, because in politics it’s still mostly about men, and it’s still quite hard to get noticed as a woman. Despite having reasonable ideas, you’re not positively radical enough to really stand out from the crowd, nor are you the sort of person that courts controversy for attention.

Michael Bennett/John Delaney/Deval Patrick

Who? You’re that person in your circle of friends who always gets forgotten or left out. You try to be a good person, but you’re not that charismatic, you’re not the kindest of the group and you’re not the best dressed. You’re just stuck in the middle of everything, hoping that someone will notice you. You try to say the odd controversial thing to be noticed, but all that does is make your clique dislike you that little bit less.

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Jaime Hunter
See all posts by Jaime Hunter