To Be or Not To Be

Interpersonal Relationships In the trump Era

To Be or Not To Be

Another Day

So. Here I am again thinking about damn trump— FYI, I use a small case ‘t’ for its name to show my complete disrespect for it. The Arizona rally was a few days ago. I didn’t go, rest assured that person isn’t me. I am not one of the damn trump-girls. [We all know you got paid. We see you.] The issue, for me is that someone I know went to the rally, she was there with bells on.

This is someone I went to highschool with but lost touch when we were about 16 years old because I moved. About ten years later we became Facebook friends, but have not really spoken to each other. There was no catching up with each other, no messaging back and forth: just silence. Now I know why. I am African-American and she is white.

From what others have told me, she took on the persona of trump-humper (trump supporter) when she got married, so now the issue that I am pondering is whether or not this person I used to know is now a raging white supremacist. Does she tolerate domestic terrorists and is she willing to dismiss me as not being a valid human being based on my race? I can’t answer that because I don’t know her, so now the question becomes, do I want to know her?

Now I need to back up a bit and explain my personality. I believe that people should be honest with each other, meaning, don’t put forward a false face. I don’t deal well with disingenuous people, I like knowing what I am getting.

When I first meet people, I am quiet and let them talk. Not only that, I listen. Through life experience I have learned that people will tell you who they are within the first 10 minutes of meeting them— that is when people are the most honest with each other. They tell you their faults, consciously or subconsciously, so when their faults show themselves later they can say, or imply, that, hey, they warned you. And the thing is, they did.

So I listen and at the first sign of asshole-ness, I am out. Why? Because I am in my late 40s and have come to the conclusion that I am way too old to put up with someone else’s crap. I am not taking on any new people in my life if all they are going to do is try to make me miserable. Not doing it. I have spent the last few years getting rid of a lot of people from my personal life because they are toxic and I really don’t want to have to go through that process again because of MORE bad choices in friends. So I think I just answered my question.

I don’t really know this person, we haven’t spoken in about 30 years. It would be like starting over, and knowing that she is a trump-humper does not really inspire me to want to try to know her. Like Maya Angelou said, “If someone tells you who they are, believe them.”

Supporting a man who has been openly racist for years tells me who you are. Voting for a man who admitted to ‘grabbing’ women by the privates tells me who you are. Going to a trump rally after the toxic tangerine refused to condemn the domestic terrorists who stormed the campus, murdered a woman, and wounded several others in Charlottesville, Virginia, tells me who you are. It also tells me that you are comfortable with the increase in violence against POC and non-Christians, not to mention his rapid deportation of undocumented people which, by the way, separates families. What a cruel monster.

No, I do not want to invest in this person. I don’t want to get reacquainted with them if it means that I will have to constantly forgive the slight (or blatant) racist comments or attitudes she probably thinks will be okay to spew my way in an effort to initiate dialogue about our different opinions. I don’t believe there can be a real dialogue, those people don’t want to talk honestly, they want to hear only themselves and pretend they are doing something brave. I don’t want to get to know that person.

So my conundrum is solved, I think. I will not attempt to connect with this person anymore. Lady, you support terrorists and are not worth my time.

Deirdre Jackson-Head
Deirdre Jackson-Head
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Deirdre Jackson-Head

I am a law school graduate and a creative writer. I live in Mississippi, a state rich with stories and interesting life experiences. 

See all posts by Deirdre Jackson-Head