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The Lost Art of Thoughtful Debate

Feelings are the new facts.

By Theresa NoelPublished 3 years ago 3 min read
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When facing a rival thought or opinion, do you ever consider the fact that the person to whom you are opposed may feel or believe as strongly about their side of the argument as you do?

I think there is a misconception among people today that if they feel strongly about their beliefs or opinions, that makes them more right than other people. It's not about truth anymore; it's about how deeply someone feels about something that makes their argument valid. It's led to people simply screaming down the opposing side of any issue instead of having open, honest conversations that could lead to people coming to a better understanding of opposing opinions.

For example, if I feel so desperately that vanilla is the best flavor of ice cream that it keeps me up at night knowing that other ice cream flavors even exist, then it must be the truth. I feel it so deeply, it makes me shake and cry when I even think that someone might disagree. When I see that someone is going to speak about their opposing opinion: that chocolate, strawberry, and rocky road are also delicious flavors of ice cream, my blood begins to boil. I plan to attend the gathering and simply scream, "VANILLA, VANILLA, VANILLA!" until the speaker simply gives up trying to share his evil propaganda. It sounds insane, but this is the world we live in.

People really believe that if they feel strongly enough about something, they don't have to defend their positions with facts, figures or proof of any kind. Their strong feelings are proof enough. Science doesn't matter (unless it proves their point) and they don't want to hear anything that might give credence to the opposing side. Like the screaming child who plugs his ears and throws a fit when told it's bedtime, people have become unable to hold civil, productive conversations with people who hold opposing views.

It has become increasingly difficult for people to really understand the depth and breadth of any issue. The reporting on either side of any such issue will not hesitate to surpress opposing information and even distribute false information in support of their side. It seems there are no longer impartial reporters of information. Each person or entity reports only what will support their side of any issue and ignores anything that might make their argument vulenrable or validate an opposing view.

This has to stop. We have to stop being so offended at every opposing opinion that we cannot defend our positions with intelligent conversation. We have to stop only consuming information that supports our feelings about any particular issue. We have to stop looking at people who think or believe differently than we do as enemies whom we must destroy. We must be open to hearing what others have to say and be ready to defend our positions with facts, not just feelings. When a debate breaks down into name-calling and personal insults instead of a thoughtful conversation about the issue, the one hurling isults has generally run out of information to support their argument. If you find yourself in this position, I urge you to stop and gather your thoughts before continuing. Don't allow yourself to rely on feelings about the issue. Stick to facts and if you come to an impasse, simply agree to disagree. Do your best to see the other person's side of the issue and remember that you are speaking to a human being, no matter how frustrated you become. Don't lose your humanity by refusing to see the human in front of you.

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