When America came to be the biggest success of its century, everyone flocked to it. There were immigrants coming from all over the place. There was no hesitation, if someone wanted to be free of something or oppression or whatever it was they needed to escape, they escaped to America. The Irish, the Dutch, the German, the Japanese, and everyone else. America was a safe haven for everyone. Then the people got here and found decrepit, disgusting men that did the same decrepit and disgusting things that they did in every country that they had tried to escape. Somehow, that didn’t stop people from coming though and here’s why.
Times changed and soon everyone knew Americans as these pretty, white, blonde-haired, happy people with a cute wife or husband and two kids with cute names, one boy and one girl. Women were wonderful home-makers with dimples and big boobs and small waists. Men were strong and rough and sexy, always making money and then coming home to their wife with a smile on their face. This wasn’t true in the slightest, but people believed it. They still believe it. They believe that you can get rich if you wish it enough. They believe that you only get poor if you’re a bad person and if a bad person has a good kid someone will help it.
The American Dream is nothing short of the perfect fantasy. In the American Dream, anyone can be a superstar. In the American Dream, nobody feels any pain that can’t be healed, but anyone who lives in America knows that’s not true. Everyone has to face reality sooner or later and when they want to face reality sooner rather than the later option they come to America.
In America, there are a lot of cool things. Cool things, like singers with PTSD from being stalked and ridiculed on a worldwide scale. Cool things, like food that can give you cancer and obesity because it’s so cheap you can’t resist and it's made of plastic mixed with the parts of abused animals that nobody else wanted. Cool things, like lifestyles that are more expensive than anyone who’s not selling drugs or their own bodies can afford. These cool things that are projected to everyone on the face of the earth through a rose-colored lens, so they can’t tell that these people are half starved and begging on the sidewalk in between episodes of their reality television show.
One of the greatest things that our beautiful country has to offer is diversity. As part of the American Dream, we offer equality to all people of all different skin tones as long as they’re White. They can live here if they’re black or Muslim or Asian as long as they don’t mind being the horse instead of the rider. They can have a family and a job and a house, but only if you pay more and act more White. America doesn’t except hoodlums or convicts even if the crimes they committed weren’t their own, but the crimes of their ancestors when they were pushed to the boundaries by oppression and the strife of living a life full of poverty.
In America, all your pain goes away. If it doesn’t right away they offer a wide range of narcotics that are easy to get addicted to and once they’ve been tried once they can’t be lived without. Have a cigarette. Have a joint. Have a pill. Anything they need to make it through the nights. America serves bottle after bottle to anyone with a badge that says they are who they say they are, but no one ever looks too close, because in America they can be anyone they want to be.
The American Package also comes with a wide variety of mental illnesses. If they’re sad they must be depressed and there are at least three different pills for that. They suck out your soul and make you feel like an empty shell with no purpose, but they’ll cure depression in a jiffy. Side effects include; depression. If the person can’t sleep at night give them a doctor prescribed cocktail. They’ll have to live life one glass of caffeine pumped coffee to another and they’ll more than likely to get addicted to one or two of the pills, but by the time they’re done with their eight hour shift at their job going no where they’ll pass right out. Don’t forget that while most doctors offer a pay at the window option, if they want to not be paying for a bottle of useless pills for the rest of their life they’ll have to have insurance that helps them pay by forcing them to pay an only slightly smaller amount month by month no matter whether or not they can’t pay their other bills on time. If they don’t have insurance they better not get hurt at all. All the best doctors are in America.
In short, America is paradise and no one will ever be happy until they’re here. It’s just like any other corrupt and decaying country, but better because they don’t have to tell anyone the truth about what goes on. The people just let the government handle it because America has the best government. They bomb people for no good reason besides it might make them look good and they’ve been wasting the people’s money on superficial stuff that drains the economy, but the people trust them with their lives because they are furthering the greatest country on earth. America; land of the free to die the way of their choice and home of the brave enough to keep their mouth shut even as the world burns down around them because, hey, at least they’re not at war and Keeping Up With The Kardashians is on TV.
~Thank you for reading. With love.