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On Trump withdrawal

We're going to kind of miss him

By Michael John BertrandPublished 3 years ago 3 min read
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Miss me yet?

Let me explain.

We the people have just exited a war zone. With Trump gone, we can now begin the recovery process, and for a little while it is going to be rough transitioning back to a peaceful civilian life after four long years of constant bombardment.

Like I keep saying, Trump’s one true genius was his ability to repeatedly top himself in horribleness every single day of his administration.

And that kind of thing takes a toll on you, the sort of toll that you don’t even consciously feel while the attack is still going because you have long ago forgotten what normal felt like and have retreated into a kind of defensive crouch where the only goal is survival.

Now that there’s peace, though, we are starting to remember what life was like before him, and we can finally feel the difference and therefore really feel just how incredibly fucked up life under Trump was and that is going to be quite traumatic at first.

So I think the next month or so will be pretty rough. Sure, democracy survived the illness. The fever broke, the disease is dead, and better days are on the horizon.

But it will take a while for the aftereffects to fade. The disease is dead but our cells are still soaked in the toxins it created and there’s still a lot of dead bacteria to flush out of our collective bloodstreams.

Not only that, but our nervous systems have been attuned to constant bullshit bombardment for so long that it will take some time before our nerves actually believe the threat has passed.

I’ve already seen this in my liberal American friends. When I say something positive about the current situation, they reflexively reply, “Oh, but the forces he unleashed are still with us and we might never be able to recover from that. “

This is nonsense. Trump is gone, his supporters are thoroughly disgraced, his legislative cronies like Mitch the Bitch are powerless before the wrath of the court of public opinion, Democrats control EVERYTHING, and Trump is going to go on trial and every dirty secret will come out and justice will be served at long last.

So why the negativity? Because people are afraid to hope. Things have been so hopeless for so long that we are not quite ready to believe its truly over yet, and so we convince ourselves that, despite all evidence, things are still awful.

This will pass, of course, as the pattern fades from lack of reinforcement and the wolf persists in not being at the door. Eventually, we will forget all about that pumpkin colored heap of excrement, and stride forward into a future made all the more glorious by the tragic era that preceded it.

It will be like the post-WWII period. Peace, prosperity, and a world united in victory over a petty despot whose rule resulted in hundreds of thousands of deaths.

Yes, I am saying Trump is Hitler. Only without the dignity, intelligence, mental stability, or sense of style.

But I bet there are millions of people currently plagued by nightmares where Donald Trump is still the President somehow.

In fact, I think in a very perverse way, we will miss him, like old Londoners getting misty eyed over the Blitz. You can miss anything you got used to, no matter how awful that thing was at the time.

Heck, Trump has dominated the conversation for so long that it will take some time for us to even remember what we used to talk about.

I think it was…. taxes, or something?

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