On The Fence: Abortion

The Begining:

The first time I heard about the idea of abortion was in high school. I can't remember for the life of me which course it was in, but it was sometime during the transition from grade 11 to grade 12. The whole discussion was not even entirely pro-choice-centric. But amazing about China's one-child policy, and how that had led to many prospective parents 'choosing' to get a sex-selection abortion. Undeniably, I was not very impressed with the idea of abortion.

The Middle:

It was when I went to university that I actually had to study more in-depth the reality of abortion. It had begun with some form of trepidation because I was so unsure. It simply took two classes in a four-month semester and hours and hours of independent research where I truly understood the possible necessities of abortion.

I was still a teenager at this point, and could easily imagine only being a few years younger and what my life could've been if I had ended up pregnant in high school.

When I graduated from university, as the pressures increased to start a family of my own, while I was still a debt-ridden jobless young woman, I can only imagine someone else in a situation much worse than I would've been in.

And now that I approach thirty, I can only imagine a woman who is crippled by the fear of being a mother (due to being neurodivergent), I can only imagine women who suffer from worse health issues than mine but are currently in a committed relationship?

The Now:

Perhaps it was not obvious, but I am most definitely pro-choice. But this inclination comes with no less disquiet within me. I can't speak for any sort of certainty about what my younger pregnant self would or wouldn't have done. The likelihood most likely would have been getting an abortion. But I know now, that it would have absolutely destroyed me over the years. I am extremely maternal, just the thought of my hypothetical child fills me with an inexplicable rush for this child that doesn't even exist. But I also know that I am still not ready for this hypothetical child that I already love.

I don't think now I would be able to get an abortion unless... And it's this 'unless' that I wish to speak about.

Pro-choice vs. Pro-life:

Note: I understand that not all pro-lifers and pro-choicers fall neatly into agreeing or disagreeing with these categories. However, these are the generic arguments that the right and left side do follow. As such, the bravery lies in being a voice of change within your own fold rather than validating yourself "But I do not believe..." to the opposite side.

Health-Risks: Pro-choice 💯

• Mother's life is at risk
• Fetus's life is at risk: prior birth, after birth, or the child will suffer immensely once born leading to death in their younger years. Is aborting the fetus the cruel thing, or is making a child live in suffering because of our own moral convenience the crule thing?

Rape: Pro-choice 💯

• Pro-life: It's an innocent bystander; what if the apple doesn't fall far from the tree? If science can prove it in the future, that this fetus will amount to nothing but bad actions? What if for the woman it is only a traumatic experience where she doesn't want to suffer through the reminder of her violation?
• Pro-choice: Pregnancy should never be forced on a woman; YASS!!!
• Rape is a traumatic enough experience; everyone should by empathetic by supporting the victim's decision without manipulating or guilting a rape victim into doing what you desire them to do. That is both predatory and unhelpful.

Religion: Pro-choice 💯

• Not everyone is religious.
• Not everyone follows your particular religion.
• Freedom of religion is a 'constitutional' right.
• Imposing one's religious unto others is both unconstitutional and dare I say colonialist?

Incest: On The Fence

• Incestous rape: Pro-choice 💯
• Consensual adult incest: I don't even want to think about it 🤢

Unsafe-Sex: On The Fence

• Pro-life: It has life. Good point, and why should we get to decide when human life starts being important or not.
• Pro-choice: Pro-life is not only about living but also the quality of life. Why won't you advocate for programs that incentivize women to not get abortions? Better point, pro-life your caring only comes to the extent of it not costing you a penny doesn't it?
• Another thing, I do uncomfortably agree with is the reality is that abortion has become a nescessary evil. Even if women get an abortion for their own convenience or ease, this just implies that the child will not have a reliable parent(s). Most likely the child will end up depending on the system, or even in the foster system. And these systems are already overburdened with more children than they can take care of. Even if it is cold, but if abortion means less struggles and poverty for children overall, then so be it.
• Main reason I am truly on the fence about abortions for pregnancies resulting because of unsafe sex is because there are better alternatives: safe-sex education, affordable contraceptives, affordable adoption procedures. better child-welfare and mother-welfare programs etc...

Abstinence: 🙄😒

• As we are so inclined to worship a historical constitution, and a lot of other outdated things from history, history should also tell us how unlikely abstinence is for many people
• Nothing wrong with abstaining or even promoting it, but it should be done along side with safe-sex education; abstinence is the best contraceptive, but not the only one.

Father's Rights: On The Fence (Kind of)

• Father's have equal rights on the unborn child. Unfortunately, they do not. Not while the child is inside the woman's body. Woman > fetus > man.
• Then why should men be forced to pay child support especially if they didn't want the child? Actually, I think they shouldn't be. It does take two to tango, it's not only the man. And when a woman's right to her body trumps everything, it does come with the greater responsbilty on ensuring that she keeps herself safe from an unwanted pregnancy.
• Also, fathers wanting the child while the woman doesn't it is very much an outlier considering the fact majority of abortions are performed on single woman (as the man is MIA).

Conclusion

Honestly, I could've kept going on an on about this. But the point is I am on the fence regarding abortion for pregnancies as a result of unsafe-sex (the highest number of abortions are for pregnancies of this type). Because there are better alternatives. However, it seems that pro-lifers are not willing to compromise whatsoever on those alternatives. So what's even the point of a conversation?

But I can say this, I truly beleive that for most women, abortion is never an easy choice.

And if you only care about a fetus breathing, but a child not being loved, fed, educated, and cared for. Then you're really not pro-life at all.