Let’s cancel everything to torment conservative snowflakes.

I recently walked into the middle of an animated conversation about how Dr. Seuss was being canceled which was horrible because the speakers all loved Dr. Seuss (the speakers all being middle aged adults). At the time I had no idea what they were talking about, but I immediately sensed that it was all bullshit.

“Who” I questioned “is canceling Dr. Seuss?”

“The cancel culture!” was the answer I received.

“Yes, but…” I pressed on “Who specifically is actually canceling Dr. Seuss?”

I received a death stare for harshing their fun. After a pause the answer I received was “Amazon isn’t selling Dr. Seuss anymore. Because of this out of control cancel culture!”

Of course if you actually go to Amazon you’ll see a wide array of Dr. Seuss books, merchandise and movies available for sale. In fact sales of Dr. Seuss books have spiked because of the faux scandal. There seems to be a bit of cognitive dissonance occurring as conservatives rush to buy widely available books because they have been “canceled.”

The Cat in the Hat, The Grinch and pretty much any Seuss title you can think of is still up for sale. The seed of the controversy was that Dr. Seuss Enterprises announced it was no longer going to publish a handful of obscure titles like “McElligot's Pool” because they included racist imagery-- it’s their property, they can do what they want with it. If they had just quietly stopped producing these titles, most people would have probably never noticed. A cynic might suggest that they made the announcement knowing that it would cause a rush for other Dr. Seuss titles. I doubt Dr. Seuss Enterprises is that cunning, they are likely embarrassed by this whole so-called controversy, but they probably don’t mind the increased cash flow.

The Mr. Potato Head alleged cancelation is even sillier. The availability of Mr. Potato Head hasn’t changed at all. The brand is simply now being called “Potato Head” to reflect the fact that there has also been a Mrs. Potato Head available for years. You can still buy a Mr. Potato Head.

The proclaimed Muppets cancelation had me scratching my head--I had just seen The Muppets Show become available on Disney+. This controversy stemmed from the fact that Disney included a disclaimer that the 70’s show included some offensive imagery. Conservatives were the driving force behind movies having warning labels but they seethe at these kinds of warnings. This so-called cancelation is the dumbest because the show has actually become more available than it was before.

That conservatives think these properties are all victims of cancel culture is… annoying. They can easily see that all of these things are still available for sale if they just go bother to check. They don’t need to turn to the “liberal media” for information, they can fact check this stuff themselves. However, they don’t want to face the fact conservative media is lying to them--they want to bask in the indignation.

Look at Don Jr. talking to Fox and Friends. They’re having so much fun slamming the “woke mob” for canceling all American wholesomeness. They clearly sense that they stand for common sense in a world that’s lost its mind. Brian Kilmeade is the possible exception here. He enjoys some lines of Don Jr.’s rant, but you get the impression he’s a man coming to the uncomfortable realization that he’s on the wrong side of history.

Conservatives have always struggled with the fact that societies change. What if we were still producing movies like Birth of Nation? It’s a film that shamelessly portrays a murderous terrorist organization as heroes. “It’s how we’ve always done it” is an excuse, not a reason, for things to be the way they are.

I don’t think there’s much point in trying to show conservatives the error of their ways--they could easily find the truth themselves if they wanted to.

Instead I suggest we give them what they want--let’s cancel everything. Daffy Duck? Canceled. Thor? Canceled. Front lawns? Canceled. We can think of reasons why these things are canceled later. Or not, it doesn’t seem to matter. The point is to send conservatives into a fit about nothing. Ideally while they are spitting blood over how Little Miss Muffet or whatever has been attacked by cancel culture, progressives can work on actual societal problems unencumbered.